Jewish World Review Sept. 12, 2006 / 19 Elul, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
All the King's Men starring Sean Penn as Louisiana's legendary Governor Huey Long comes out next week. Everyone's talking Oscar. Tom Cruise refused the role because he thought they would make him take Prozac for the Great Depression scenes.
Paris Hilton was arrested for drunk driving in Hollywood Wednesday after the police noticed her weaving erratically. It wasn't without incident. At first she refused the breathalyzer test because she thought it violated her pledge of celibacy.
Katie Couric ended her first week as CBS News anchor. Viewers saw her in a black jacket and pearls, a white jacket over black, and a plain white blouse. CBS thinks if she's always in black and white, people will mistake her for Edward R. Murrow.
Chevron geologists said Tuesday they've found fifteen billion barrels of oil out in the Gulf of Mexico. There's nothing environmentalists can do to stop the drilling. Sea life killed the Crocodile Hunter and no one's in the mood to spare it.
Hillary Clinton was profiled on ABC's Nightline Thursday on the day that her Senate campaign war chest reached forty-seven million dollars. She needs every penny if she wants to win. Her husband charges a hundred thousand dollars a speech.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton