Jewish World Review Sept. 7, 2006 / 14 Elul, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Donald Trump fired NBC Apprentice sidekick Carolyn Kepcher Friday and replaced her with his daughter Ivanka Trump. The show is a competition for a high-ranking job in his company. The first challenge in this fall's Apprentice is a paternity test.
Tom Cruise on Monday qualified the apology Brooke Shields said he gave her for condemning her use of anti-depressants. His feud with her turned him into box-office poison. Tom Cruise was bitten by a stingray Tuesday and the creature died instantly.
The Toronto Film Festival angered Americans Friday by agreeing to screen Death of a President, in which President Bush gets assassinated over his foreign policy. It's just a mock documentary. In reality he's getting killed over illegal immigration.
Bill Clinton insisted to reporters Friday he's not forcing his wife to run for president. The press has reported that she doesn't want to run but he's pressuring her. Any time Bill Clinton is accused of making a woman run, he denies it out of habit.
Congress returned to work for a short September session before members go home to campaign for re-election. They are polling terribly. Last night in Washington D.C., a How to Get Rich in Real Estate seminar sold out all four hundred thirty-five seats.
Howard Dean told a dinner audience Friday that the money going to Iraq should go to New Orleans. You want to climb the walls. If Howard Dean were any more irritating and annoying as a fundraiser he would be writing a tell-all about his years with Dean Martin.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton