Jewish World Review Sept. 27, 2005 / 23 Elul, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Mitsubishi dealers in Los Angeles began a new ad campaign
Sunday in light of today's fuel prices. They are offering free
gasoline for a year if you lease a Mitsubishi. If you don't want
the gasoline they will give you a Rolls Royce instead.
Warren Beatty called Arnold Schwarzenegger a dictatorial,
reactionary right-wing spokesmodel. The governor replied that
Warren Beatty isn't working. In Los Angeles, being called a Nazi
isn't nearly as bad as being called an out-of-work actor.
Cindy Sheehan addressed a hundred thousand anti-war
protesters in Washington Saturday. The rally turned out to be a
grab-bag of curious causes. The speeches were so critical of
Israel that even Arab television offered Benjamin Netanyahu equal time.
Greece is set to launch twelve new surveillance satellites.
They will scan the terrain to catch illegal immigrants and locate
oil reserves. Americans don't know much about the new satellite
but it's already leading in Iowa and New Hampshire.
Senator Bill Frist is being probed for dumping his family's
hospital company stock. The smart money today is in Lasix eye
surgery centers. Suddenly there's a huge demand to be able to read
the fine print in home disaster insurance policies.
Alan Greenspan raised the prime lending rate a quarter
percent Tuesday. The nation's chief economist decided to inflate
the price of money to help prevent inflation. The essential
purpose of economics is to make astrology look respectable.
The New York Yankees set a league attendance record Sunday with four million fans showing up to root for the Bronx Bombers this year. The Yankees needed every penny they could get their hands on. Only the Saudi royal family has a higher team payroll.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton