Jewish World Review Sept. 15, 2005 / 11 Elul, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
ABC News aired a videotape Sunday from an al-Qaeda operative
raised in America who threatened to attack Los Angeles. There's
been no local panic. No one in Los Angeles will even hear about
the threat until somebody mentions it on the E! Channel.
Bellamy Road, owned by George Steinbrenner, ran at Belmont
racetrack Saturday in New York to prepare for the Breeder's Cup.
They should forget about putting him out to stud. Gasoline is so
expensive the horse would make more money if he's put out to carpool.
Teddy Kennedy called Friday for Republicans to drop income
and inheritance tax cuts to finance hurricane relief. It's
dismaying. The difference between death and taxes is that
Democrats can't think of a way to make death worse than it is.
FEMA Director Michael Brown was told to leave Louisiana
Friday and return to his office in Washington D.C. The office
morale is still good. Last night his staff threw a party for him,
gave him a gold watch, and told him what his job had been.
The U.S. Golf Association on Friday ordered golf ball makers
to make golf balls that don't go so far off the tee. It's about
time for action. Today's golf balls fly so far and so high, you
can buy them in caplet form at jazz festivals.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton