Jewish World Review May 15, 2003 / 13 Iyar, 5763
Take me out of the bore-game
http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Every year before the baseball season begins, baseball writers and fanatics wax eloquently about the sports "sublime slowness," "leisurely pace," etc. In other words, vast amounts of time when absolutely nothing is happening. This allows plenty of opportunity to drink extra beers and get mad at your cellphone for not working and hurl it onto the field.
Baseball's so dull that the biggest baseball story of the year occurred when Dale Petroskey, the head of baseball's Hall of Fame, cancelled the ceremony honoring the 1988 baseball movie "Bull Durham" bec ause of anti-war comments made by two of the stars, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. It's pretty bad when a story about a fifteen year old film is better than anything you have going on right now. Speaking of which, "Bull Durham" is considered one of the best baseball movies ever made, but its most memorable scene is the "head shot" of Sarandon with Kevin Costner. .
In any case, it's no wonder baseball is losing fans to faster-paced sports like football, stock-car racing, wrestling, and watching grass grow! If baseball's going to survive, it's going to have to adapt for today's action-oriented audiences, and make some changes like these:
1. Before each pitch, a football linebacker charges the mound. .
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