Jewish World Review Sept. 5, 2003 / 8 Elul, 5763
Jay D. Homnick
Dubya's last stand?
http://www.jewishworldreview.com | My brilliant correspondent offers this striking prognosis: Bush in 2004 is "toast". Is she pro-gnosis, I ask myself, or is her information more concrete? Indeed, bad news can break fast, and if he is in a jam he needs to be egged on, not buttered up.
So, while making straight dire predictions goes against my grain, an amber light does go on. No, we are not yet in the Red Light district, more like the abeyance area.
Mark the inclemencies for Uncle Sam, they are twain. The mystical muck of the Holy Land and the melancholy mess of Iraq (yes, part of it is Mesopotamia).
Can the following scenario happen? A President named George Bush makes war on Saddam Hussein in Iraq, scores an impressive victory, vaults to Olympic heights in the polls, but then the new broom doesn't sweep so clean and the mop-up has an unimpressive wring. Soon this Prexy starts hassling Israel in a one-sided process, and before you know it his Administration is lying in State. Implausible? Or deja voodoo politics all over again?
Don't get me wrong. I am not ready to burn my Prez card. Show me your pro-Bush ante, I'll see you and double you. No, my status quo is not anti, but I would hate to be forced by events into becoming neo-con. Let us seek out the dammed spots, apply some moral fiber and see Spot run.
Iraq and Israel are neighbors in the U.N.'s alphabetical system, separated only by Ireland. This serves to remind us that they are no less lands of ire than their companion.
First, Israel. There may be a Road Map, but we are driving under the influence. From DUI to DOA requires only a small movement of vowels. This guy Abbas is clearly another Dancing Queen, promising anything but giving our page of familiar violence. Israel metes out terra firma and is met only with firmer terror. Israel makes a world of concessions, while the Palestinians have sessions to con the world.
The Palestinian tactics are getting old, they don't have a truth in their mouth. If anything, they are irredentists (not to mention exodontists). They are battlers in the Axis of Evil, any contrary claim is a lie. It is high time we stopped building them up and being intimidated by their towering babble.
Which brings us to Iraq, where Saddam's malicious militias are still picking off our men. They may be just a military mite, but they can still draw blood and leave nasty welts on our Anschauung.
We want to stay the course, and do it the fair way, but they are still in the bunkers. We can speak softly but must still carry a big club. The irony is that if we handcuff Israel in their struggle, we embolden the tyrannical ex of Tikrit.
That deck of cards with the wanted men is cute (it is scary when Uncle Sam wants you, it means underpaid hard work in nasty barracks with inedible food and drab clothing), but it does not scare sadists who love to play with hot pokers. They only respond to the Joker, as in the riddled bodies of Uday and Qusay.
It is time to allow Sharon (Ariel, not Stone) in Israel to do a straight flush of the terrorists. Then perhaps Saddam's henchmen will know we mean business and will help us to do the royal flush in Iraq. Then, and only then, will the Bush family of Pennsylvania Avenue enjoy a full house.
So Mr. W needs to beware. The V in Iraq came before, but he must not let the X come after. The same cast of characters bagged his Dad and made a Tel out of Aviv (a little Hebrew gag: Tel Aviv means Spring Hill, but the same pronunciation, slightly different spelling, can mean "ruin of his father").
Please, please, please, before it is too late. The last thing we need is another Bush out, another Clinton in. Do the right thing, you will win, we will help you win; at the end, my correspondent and I will be the first to join in drinking a "toast".
08/26/03: They don't sue prematurely (Tales Out Of Court)