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Jewish World Review Sept. 24, 2003 / 27 Elul, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Arnold Schwarzenegger will appear in his first debate in Sacramento tonight. He's very lucky it's scripted. His ad-libs have been pretty stupid lately and no one wants to appear on the same stage with Gallagher sounding like a melon head.

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed described the planning for the September 11th attacks Friday to the FBI. The details are chilling. At the last minute Osama bin Laden canceled five airline attacks on California for fear that they might not be noticed.

The Emmy Awards audience gave a cold reception to Darrell Hammond's impression of Don Rumsfeld. It inaccurately portrayed him as a Puritan. Look kids, Richard Nixon made lots of mistakes but hiring morally superior advisers was not one of them.

North Carolina was darkened by power outages in the wake of Hurricane Isabel last week. There was good news. Thanks to electrical generators, both Senator John Edwards and Senator Liddy Dole were happy to report that their blow dryers are working.

Ronald Reagan is revealed to be a great letter writer in the new book Reagan's Letters. It includes touching love letters he wrote to his wife. Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton will publish a book of fundraising letters her husband wrote to her.

Hillary Clinton issued an appeal for Democratic solidarity at a fundraiser in Providence, Rhode Island on Sunday. It's a first step. Everyone agrees if this woman is going to beat President Bush, it's going to require an appeal to Providence.

Hillary Clinton accused President Bush of trying to end Medicare and Social Security. She said he wants to impose a radical right-wing agenda on America. This is the harshest thing she's ever said to a president without a lamp in her hand.

Wesley Clark said Tuesday he favored the war then Friday said he opposed the war. He has a reputation in the Pentagon as a showboat and a flake. On Monday the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy pronounced Wes Clark just fine the way he is.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton