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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Does this outfit make me look rude?

By Debra Nussbaum

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JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Not to be pretentious by invoking Shakespeare, but sometimes when I'm at Dunkin' Donuts, I think of his quote from "Hamlet" about clothing: "The apparel oft proclaims the man."

What is the guy in front of me in line proclaiming with his pajama bottoms? And the woman behind me in an oversize white tank top that shows every inch of her black bra, what is her proclamation? Is the guy revealing 80 percent of his boxers sending a message?

There is a lot of fashion advice today from books, blogs, and TV shows. But we need less advice on our color palettes and more guidance on what is just plain inappropriate to wear out in the world. We have lost the subtle internal rule book that tells one not to show up at a nice restaurant in a dirty T-shirt, flip-flops, and ripped jeans; not to wear a skirt the size of a dish towel to school or a religious sanctuary; and not, not, not to feel the need to reveal one's underwear to the public.

In 1970, my friends and I shivered at the bus stop in rural Wisconsin wearing skirts and knee socks because the school dress code did not allow girls to wear pants, even if it was 10 degrees out. I railed against that oppressive set of rules, but now sometimes I long for at least some boundaries in terms of how people dress. Today, the young and not-so-young too often clad themselves in a way that shows a lack of respect for an occasion. In the world of etiquette, that's impolite.



A funeral isn't the place for a miniskirt and 5-inch designer heels. A lot of cleavage may play on the Oscar red carpet or your honeymoon, but it's not appropriate for a Tuesday morning at the office or in school. In fact, it's bad manners.

Stephen Gambescia, an associate professor in Drexel's College of Nursing and Health Professionals and assistant dean of academic and student affairs, wears a coat and tie every day as a quiet message to students.

"They need to understand to put the 'bar,' if you will, higher," he said. "The measure is not if people will or will not object to the way you dress, it is asking yourself if there is a risk that people may object to what you are wearing. If there is a risk, change. Even if you believe the boss, teacher, or customer is oversensitive. Why risk the bad or questionable impression?

"So, I guess, from a faculty perspective, I am less concerned about specific clothing than the context of what is being worn when, to where, and with whom."

Carolyn Verdi, owner of Philadelphia's Carolyn Verdi Boutique said, "One of my biggest pet peeves is people not dressing properly. I'm amazed how people dress. There will be a nice venue for a wedding and men and women show up in a casual shirt and pants." Even on New Year's Eve, people line up at lovely restaurants in sweatshirts and baseball hats. "There's a place for that," she said, but not on a dressy occasion.

People are so clueless about what's appropriate that sometimes guests need specific instructions on how to dress, said Christina Maddox, owner of Heaven Sent Wedding Consultants in Philadelphia.

"Often I tell brides and grooms, you should know your family, and if they will dress like that, put 'formal' or 'semiformal' on the invitation," she said. "Sometimes you see dresses so short, they are just below the behind, or women come to a wedding dressed in all white. Who does that? The gall of these women to do that."


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Yet even leaders in a community are uncomfortable telling people that their clothing is inappropriate.

Richard Address, senior rabbi of Congregation M'Kor Shalom in Cherry Hill, N.J. (Reform), has seen a change in the way people dress for religious services in his 30 years as a rabbi. Now, many services have adapted and allow a more casual dress, including congregations meeting in the summer and close to the Jersey Shore, and that is acceptable, he said. "Yet, there are also times when the reverse is true and, to show respect for the service, the tradition, and the moment, appropriate dress is preferred."

Good manners dictate that we at least stand in the mirror for one minute before we head out the door and ask this question:

Does this outfit make me look rude?

Debra Nussbaum is an adjunct journalism professor at Rowan University.

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