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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 23, 2013/ 17 Elul, 5773

Where have all the wrinkles gone?

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A woman who had returned from a lengthy stay in Europe marched up to me and demanded to know why Americans don't have any commercials with women who have wrinkles.

"Wrinkles are illegal," I said, "punishable by a brown paper bag over your head in all 50 states."

I wondered why she asked me the question. Maybe she thought I might be interested in doing commercials in Europe soon.

When I did an interview with a cable news program they asked if it would be OK if they sent a makeup artist to the studio. "Sure," I said. "A plastic surgeon would be even better, but a makeup artist will do."

Why are we like this? Because we are not Europe.

Wrinkles are anathema to American women and, increasingly, to American men. Well, at least to Bruce Jenner.

Women of all ages try some very strange things to slow the hands of time.



Take the scrub cleanser. Scrub cleansers have little particles like sand in them that are supposed to smooth your skin. Think coarse sandpaper on old wood. The scrubs with granules are hard to rinse. I've found sand-like particles under my contact lens, clinging to the bottom of my chin and even one stuck between my teeth. You shouldn't need a toothpick after you wash your face.

Still other washes promise to open up your pores and deflake your skin. I checked the instructions on that one to see if you had to vacuum afterward.

Then there is the retinol eye mask. It is two crescent-shaped pads soaked with a solution that will puff up deep creases around the eyes. I put the pads under my eyes and caught sight of myself in a mirror. I looked like the missing link between raccoons and upright humans.

The cucumber gel for eyelids was a free sample. It had to be kept in the refrigerator. It was a beautiful avocado green and looked very appetizing. Don't store it next to your salad dressings. Just trust me on this one.

A high-end spa in New York City will give you a bird doo-doo facial for $180. You read that right. The Geisha Facial mixes dried Asian nightingale droppings with rice bran, which is then painted on your face. Don't get any ideas about trying this at home with whatever you can scrape off the bird feeder. It can't be any old bird doo-doo, it has to be Asian nightingale doo-doo because they live on seeds that produce a natural enzyme that softens the skin.

Who in the world is the person who discovered bird poo on your face will make your skin softer? It was probably a relative of the person who discovered the mud mask.

A fellow writer was reflecting on an upcoming milestone birthday and the wrinkles on her face. She was feeling low, so she bought herself an azalea. She is 39 turning 40.

I have a milestone birthday coming up in a few years. If it takes an azalea to appease 40, I'll need to buy an entire hedge row.


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