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McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal May 3, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert May 1, 2013 Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell Halena M. 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Twerski: The world is a mirror Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen? Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver) The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead April 24, 2013 Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret Top Muslim cleric boycotts inter-faith dialogue conference attended by 'Jews' Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication? 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Jewish World Review Aug 2, 2012/ 14 Menachem-Av, 5772 Toasting culture's absurdities By John Kass http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | As many of you know, the Kassopedia is a compendium of the world's great knowledge, from how liberals get their wings to the translation of Kissitupta. And we Americans share our knowledge with everyone, regardless of whether they want to hear it. So here goes: Kassopedia Volume III. Biggest Loser Tax Credit: Michelle Obama and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg are on a crusade against fat kids, so the logical extension of the nanny state is this: On Tax Day, every child in America will be weighed and pinched by calipers wielded by government officials. If the kid's body fat is within norms, mom and dad will receive federal and state tax credits. And for those who don't make weight? Their parents will be fined (or taxed), and we'll find out what it really means to be the biggest loser. Parents who can't pay will be tossed into Fat Debt Prison, to rot until their chubby children redeem them. But kids who play soccer don't have to worry. Their parents are protected. Beecist: People who say they like bees and brag that they have friends who like bees, and they enjoy tasty honey. But they don't want any bees moving in next door because it might lower their property values. Those are beecists. Beeophile: Someone who loves bees and cultivates hives, and shares honey, like Chicago's true Beeophile, the legendary "Slim the Legman," beekeeper and journalist Liam T.A. Ford. Child Shield: A defensive weapon used by mayors to win approval for controversial speed camera programs linked to a politically connected consultant. E.g. If it saves one child, the (cameras, casino, other political project) will be worth it. Dibs: Don't even worry about dibs now. Just keep frying that egg on your forehead. "Dog-friendly" dining: A truly stupid idea allowing cafes or restaurants to permit dogs into their patios and outdoor seating areas, so dogs can "go" right next to some poor chumbolone newspaper columnist trying to eat the overpriced veal chop. And as he chews, two ideas compete for attention in the chumbolone's mind. 1) Is this really veal? 2) Why do dogs always have that facial expression when they do it? Etnicks: According to a wise man, "Chicago was built by the labor of impoverished immigrants, many of whom were Europeans. In Chicago, the descendants of the Europeans are called 'etnicks.'" They fled their homelands due to the ruthlessness of bloodsucking warlords. But once established in Chicago, the self-destructive etnicks elected new bloodsucking warlords. Go figure. Flaming ears: A wonderful Turkish barbering technique. Every man should try it. Every woman should get her man to try it, unless of course, she suffers from the heartbreak of ear hair. Then she should try it, too. Required: A gracious Turkish barber and a flame to singe the hair. Happy Heifer Babies: (1) A sci-fi nightmare gone terribly real: Chinese scientists are using cloning technology to fold human genes into the DNA of dairy cows. They hope to make a fortune selling "breast milk" to women who can't or won't nurse their infants. (2) The end of civilization as we know it, and you just knew China would be involved. Hog vs. Pig: "I don't want to be a hog. I just want to be a pig," former Cook County Commissioner Joseph "Piggy" Moreno allegedly said on a federal wire, before he was indicted in a bribery scheme. Does Piggy know any hogs in Chinatown? Oink. Oink. Kissitupta: In ancient times, etnick kids who foolishly dropped their last piece of candy onto the ground would cleanse it with a special prayer. We'd brush off the candy, raise it to the heavens and say: "God made dirt. Dirt don't hurt. So kissitupta G0d 'n' eat it." And we did. Liberal Angels: Each time a tax is raised, a liberal gets his wings. From the American film classic, "It's Not Such A Wonderful Life Anymore, Is It?" Okreos: The nanny state's new delicious after-school snack - milk and Okreos. When unhealthy Oreos are prohibited by law, parents may replace them with cookies made entirely of okra, that healthy but slimy green vegetable that your mom fed you 'cause she really hated you. Romney's Etch A Sketch: Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney doesn't have to worry about conservative principles. "Everything changes," said a top mouthpiece. "It's almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again." Shake, shake, shake. RST (Random Sweat Transfer): (1) When some sweaty person bumps up against you in a crowd and slimes you with his or her unwanted arm, back or leg sweat. (2) An acceptable defense in a criminal trial. Accused: "Yerroner, I was mindin' my own business when dat guy RST'd me on the Orange Line." Judge: "He RST'd you? Case dismissed!" Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Comments by clicking here. Previously: 04/24/12: Why do you have to sell your privacy to win? 10/13/11: Stupid things men say to pregnant women 09/26/11: Desk zero: ‘Contagion’ lurks just outside office bathroom 09/08/11: Light up your lottery tickets, pass the Hopium 08/31/11: It was only a paper moon , but a legendary hoax 05/27/11: For 2012, it's Obama vs. the smoothies 05/05/11: Is it time to de-friend Pakistan? 04/12/11: China stretches the bounds of decency with cow-human-breast milk 03/23/11: No you're not in control; get over it 02/28/11: Chicago wanted a strongman, and it got one 01/26/11: Oh, c'mon, c'mon, Rahm-bo a victim? That's a stretch 12/13/10: WikiLeaks and Assange pretend there are no consequences 12/09/10: Trendy toys don't stand up to playthings of yore 10/11/10: Obama and his pals need some scarce Hopium for the next election 09/14/10: Obama gets a little bossy with tacit endorsement of Emanuel 08/18/10: Dead Meat walking, but heat to be applied again 07/28/10: No verdict, but Blagojevich trial still has its winners, losers 07/26/10: Obama's fall guy in Shirley Sherrod case is Vilsack the Pooh 07/21/10: Loathing of Steinbrenner softens after his death 07/19/10: Summertime, and the race cards are easy 06/28/10: Does Congress have the guts to fix what court gutted? Honestly, no 12/17/09: Belt-tightening presidential aspirant leaves room for Spam 09/27/09: ACORN can teach the GOP a thing or 2 09/03/09: Blago as author gets it wrong yet again 06/22/09: Obama's latest political play should shock no one 06/17/09: Presidential satire takes Hopium break 06/11/09: E-Verify works, so, of course, let's not use it 06/09/09: First Lady Macbeth's the man, so in your face, Eminem 06/02/09: Judge Sotomayor would think me most unwise 05/12/09: Parents, enjoy this time, in all its creepiness 03/18/09: Stem cell policy shift brings a sinking feeling 03/09/09: Name That Blago Book contest names its winner 03/05/09: Contest: Name Blagojevich's book 02/16/09: Dems undercut aid for U.S. workers 01/20/09: Let the carving begin on Tombstone's tomb 01/12/09: Obama serves Reid taste of Chicago Way 01/02/09: Jesters don't pick up the race card in a nationally televised news conference and slam it into the face of every Dem in the Senate, a palm heel strike to the tip of the nose, leaving all of them watery-eyed, their lips stinging 12/24/08: Governor waxes poetic, but Combine rolls on 12/23/08: Got corruption? Get Jesse Junior G-Man 12/18/08: Will ‘feditis’ spread to Obama and Daley? 12/15/08: Man behind curtain is wizard of Rod, Rahm © 2011, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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