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Jewish World Review August 23, 2011 23 Menachem-Av, 5771 The summer of our discontent By Roger Simon
Today, we have exciting summers! Foreign governments topple! Our government teeters! Stock market swoons! Full unemployment beckons! Politics erupt! Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he will beat up on the Fed chairman like a red-headed mule. Accuses Ben Bernanke of being “almost treasonous” and says death penalty too good for him. Would send him to Oklahoma instead. Four years ago, Republican nominee John McCain could not remember number of his houses; today, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney cannot remember size of his. But Romney says he wants to increase size of his home in ultra-posh California beach community of LaJolla until he can see Tahiti from his window. Jon Huntsman becomes Democratic idea of what a Republican should be: calm, wise, and anti-Republican. He tweets last Thursday: “To be clear. I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.” Republicans tweet back: “You’re crazy. Now would you like us to call you a cab?” Religious right once again says it will exert its tremendous influence to select Republican nominee. Once again, press falls for it. Religious right hated McCain, whose religious beliefs were born-again Druid; hated George W. Bush, who refused to back an anti-abortion amendment to the Constitution; hated Bob Dole, who believed God created the earth in six extremely gloomy days; hated George H.W. Bush because he referred to ultra-conservatives as the “extra-chromosome set” and was forced to apologize to chromosomes; and, in fact, has not got the nominee it has wanted since Ronald Reagan, who was so religious he attended church approximately once in eight years in office. Karl Rove, the “Boy Genius” - - he was 49 at the time - - who propelled George W. Bush to a 500,000-vote loss to Al Gore and the presidency, announces Saturday on Fox News that Sarah Palin will run for president. “This is the last chance,” Rove says. “She gets in or out. I think she gets in.” Rove, who is not close to Palin’s advisers - - if she has advisers - - and thinks she lacks Bush’s deep intellectual footing, may be trying to deliver a “kiss of death” to Palin’s candidacy. Sources close to Rove deny this, but say he is trying to arrange for Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney to endorse her. President Obama decides to vacation while world burns. White House aides say he deserves to spend time on an island with extremely rich people in order to get in touch with America. Aides also cite fact he has not played golf in at least several days. Good publicity follows: Though Obama started war in Libya in belief he was preventing a genocide and it appears to be a war the United States will actually win in under 10 years, headline on Washington Post website Saturday is: “As rebels close in on Tripoli, Obama getting updates on Martha’s Vineyard.” White House assures nation Obama is keeping global/national issues at forefront of his attention, but needs time alone with family. Glenn Thrush of POLITICO files official press pool report Sunday: “Motorcade left beach at 12:43 p.m. Two minutes later, we have arrived Vineyard Golf Club. Foursome as yet unknown - - but it ain’t Michelle, Sasha and Malia, who parted ways with POTUS and may or may not be at the beach.” Congressional Black Caucus member Maxine Waters says during Obama’s Midwest bus trip last week: “We’re supportive of the president, but we’re getting tired. We’re getting tired. The unemployment is unconscionable. We don’t know what the strategy is. We don’t know why on this trip … he’s not in any black community.” White House replies there are many minority members in small towns Obama visited in rural Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois, but they were too busy looking for work to come out and see president. Public Policy Polling announces new poll showing “Democratic enthusiasm about voting in next year’s election has hit a record low,” Democrats appear to be “demoralized” and President Obama “has an issue with the Democratic base.” White House announces next year summer will be eliminated.
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