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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 31, 2011 / 1 Elul, 5771

All the bad parents out there raise your hand

By Marybeth Hicks





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Ok, fess up. Are you a good parent or a bad one?

Last week, bad parents were all over the news, so if you weren't plastered throughout the media for pouring hot sauce down your son's throat, shaving your daughter's head for lying, or otherwise terrorizing the little ones in your care, you're not as bad as some.

The story that typifies bad for me: Brother and sister sue mom; claim emotional distress and bad parenting . That's right. They sued their mom.

Siblings Steven and Kathryn Miner, now 23 and 20, respectively, filed suit in 2009 claiming their mother, Kimberly Garrity, caused them emotional harm because of her poor parenting.

Examples of her mistreatment included refusing to buy a new dress for her daughter's homecoming dance, sending an "inappropriate" birthday card to her son that did not contain money or a check, and not sending care packages to him while he was away at college.

(Excuse me for a second. I have to interrupt this column to call my lawyer and file suit against my 81-year-old mom. If I recall correctly, she made me eat spinach.)

A little family history about the people in this story: Ms. Garrity divorced the children's father, also named Steven Miner, in 1995. Mr. Miner, an attorney, raised the children in the lavish Chicago suburb of Barrington after their parents' divorce. They grew up in apparent privilege in a home valued at around $1.5 million.

Mr. Miner claimed he opposed the idea of the lawsuit and tried to talk his children out of it. When they insisted on going forward, he apparently then did the legal research and justified their legal action as a lesson in "accountability." He even served as one of their attorneys.

The lawsuit made its way to an appeals court in Illinois before being dismissed this week. Unfortunately, Mr. Miner and his clients were not slapped with fines for filing a frivolous case, or for using the court system to act on their bitterness toward Ms. Garrity, though it looks to me as if that would have been warranted.

Instead, the state appeals court said deciding the case "could potentially open the floodgates to subject family child rearing to ... excessive judicial scrutiny and interference."

If this case is obnoxious in the extreme, it also is true that Americans seem to need outlandish examples of bad parenting to know what it looks like.

Well folks, look no further than Mr. Miner, bad dad of the year.

According to media accounts, Mr. Miner's children have lived with him since his wife left him in 1995. That means for 16 years of their young lives, he has been the primary parental influence on their values and behavior.

If parenting can be judged (and it can't always) by the character and values instilled in our children, Mr. Miner's parenting constitutes an epic fail.

Even if their mother abandoned them in their childhood, allowing and assisting in a lawsuit against her will prove to be an equally deep emotional burden.

He had the chance to teach his children to be forgiving, but he taught them to be bitter. He had the chance to promote compassion, but he inspired pettiness.

He could have encouraged them to be magnanimous in the face of their disappointments, but instead he taught them that their narcissistic self-absorption required others to respond to their selfish desires.

Suing your mom because she didn't spoil you strikes me as evidence that the person most involved in the upbringing of these young people simply didn't get the job done.

Oh, and since my mom will read this, I was kidding. I love spinach. Thanks for making me eat it.

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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of more than 20 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


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© 2009, Marybeth Hicks