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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 31, 2011 / 1 Elul 5771

Unhealthy Behavior? I Won't Stand For It!

By Malcolm Fleschner




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Thanks to your local evening news, you're no doubt well aware of how fragile life can be, and that death stalks us at every moment, often from the confines of our own homes:

Newscaster: "Are your bedroom slippers breeding virulent dust mites that could smother you in your sleep? Our story at eleven. If you can stay awake that long!"

Of course, the evening newscasters aren't alone in revealing the serious risks we expose ourselves to every time we step into - or out of - the house. Or even if we just stand there, paralyzed with fear in the entranceway ("Doorbells, the not-so-silent killers? Our surprising story after these messages.")

The source of all these different ways everyday life is threatening to do us in is, not surprisingly, science. Scarcely a day passes without a new report of an exhaustive, multi-year study costing taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars conclusively proving that, say, the "golden flavored" butter on movie theater popcorn is, in fact, lightly salted 40-weight motor oil.

Well, believe it or not, the latest mundane cause of premature death we're finding out about is - wait, are you sitting down? Well, stop it! Because what's killing us is just that: sitting.

This news comes from a recent New York Times article stating that sitting for more than six hours a day increases people's death rate by 20-40 percent, and that too much sitting can literally cut years off of a person's life. And before you think, "Maybe that's true for people who sit around and never get any exercise, but I'm incredibly active, what with Pilates, triathlon training, frequently making obscene gestures at passing motorists, etc.," think again. Researchers accounted for all that, and it makes no difference.

The point, it turns out, is that no matter what kind of shape you're in otherwise, as soon as your body stops moving, it starts to shut down. Electrical activity in the muscles drops, insulin effectiveness decreases and levels of good cholesterol begin to fall. Further complicating matters these days is that much this sitting time is spent watching reality television, which has been clinically proven to sap the will to live.

Actually, it's no joke that watching TV is also killing us, and not just Jersey Shore. An Australian study found that for each additional hour of television a person sat and watched each day, the risk of dying rose by 11 percent. The researchers say that this works out to roughly 22 minutes shaved off of your life for each hour of TV watched. Although, to be fair, this study was conducted in Australia, so it's possible that, much as water runs down the drain in the opposite direction there, here in the Northern Hemisphere watching TV could actually extend your life.

Specifically, it's the inactivity that makes sitting and TV watching so dangerous. Which is why people who tend to move around a lot, even when in otherwise sedentary positions, often stay thinner and suffer fewer adverse health effects. So the bad news is that your fidgety coworker - you know, that incredibly irritating guy who can't go five seconds without drumming his fingers on the table - will live a long life. But on the bright side, you won't be annoyed for quite so long since you'll be dead.

Unfortunately, these days there's no way to eliminate sitting from one's lifestyle entirely, at least not without enduring a great deal of social awkwardness in movie theaters, restaurants, courtrooms, dental offices, etc. Instead, many people are incorporating more movement into their work routines. These efforts include rearranging the workspace so that, for example, one has to stretch to reach the phone on a shelf above the desk, the mouse behind the computer monitor and the stapler on the floor. Because, really, what's more fun than turning your work day into an 8-hour game of Twister?

But there are plenty of other ways to keep moving while you're seated, whether at the office, at home, at a funeral, in the confessional, etc. How about setting a timer and standing up every half hour to execute a two-minute bodybuilding pose-down? Or while talking on the phone, you could use your free hand to hone your baton twirling skills. Or to really get the adrenaline flowing, maybe play that game where you spread one hand out on the desk and use the other hand to rapidly tap the blade of a pocket knife in the alternating spaces between your fingers. And, of course, there's always jazz hands.

And if anyone at the office ever makes fun of you for standing up and doing "The Robot" in the middle of staff meetings, you can take comfort knowing you're just doing everything possible to stay healthy.

Or, failing that, nothing gets the blood moving like a vigorous obscene gesture.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:


12/01/10: It's Getting Better All The Time
08/24/10: Turn Down The Stereo(types)
06/24/10: The No Roamin' Holiday
06/08/10: Parenting On A Cellular Level
05/27/10: Older? Yes. Wiser? Not Necessarily
04/19/10: The Bossman Cometh
03/25/10: The Rules of Interaction
01/09/10: A ride of passage
12/26/09: The Family Power Struggle Goes On…
10/26/09: Rapidly approaching fuddyduddy-hood
06/20/09: Waging a backyard turf war
02/20/09: The Sties Have It
04/30/09: Planning of the Apes
04/08/09: No more phoning it in
02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel
02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING
02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead
01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY!
01/15/09: You know the type
01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009
11/20/08: Hotels go for the green
11/06/08: Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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