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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

‘Fixing’ Son's Shyness

By John Rosemond




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Q: My 4-year-old son is not fully engaged when he has a friend over for a play date. His twin sister makes friends easily and the difference between them is glaring.


When I arrange a play date for him, he is excited but then, after the friend arrives, he gradually slips off to play by himself.


Afterward, he will tell me he really didn't have a good time. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can help him become more social? I don't want him to become a loner.


A: You're describing one of your son's personality traits. Social reticence may in fact be the defining feature of his personality. Some people, from the get-go, are outgoing, gregarious, highly social. Others are socially reserved, introverted. As with your twins, personality differences of this sort are often evident from early on, even in identical twins.


Over the past 30 years, a lot has been made of the need to respect "individual differences" in children, but the fact is we are becoming less and less tolerant of childhood behavior patterns that fall even slightly outside a narrow - and ever-narrowing - definition of what constitutes "normal."


A good example of this is found in schools where, on the one hand teachers are encouraged to respect and accommodate individual learning styles, while on the other hand they are told children with different learning styles may have disabilities that require professional help.


Likewise, many of today's parents -- especially the more well-educated ones (who tend to read entirely too much of the prevailing parent-babble) -- are made anxious by any behaviors that don't fit the proverbial mold. They suffer from Too Much Information Syndrome, a peculiar brain malady characterized by over-sensitivity to anything that seems even the slightest bit "off."


This is exacerbated by the fact that today's parents seem to think their job is to make sure their children reach adulthood without any emotional baggage. That's an impossible dream, of course. If you are a person, then you have personal problems.


Correcting a behavior problem (e.g. disobedience) does not require the child's permission, but the only person who can overcome a personal challenge imposed by the birthright of personality (e.g. shyness) is the person so challenged.


That requires knowing the trait in question is problematic and making a conscious decision to overcome its limitations. A child of 4 is not capable of anywhere near that degree of intellectual and emotional maturity.


When your son is older, perhaps he will see the wisdom of making more of an effort to connect with people. In the meantime, his social difficulties are just something he and you are going to have to accept and live with. You can encourage him to reach out to other children, which, I take it, you already are doing.


When you see him pulling away from other kids, you can suggest a game they can play together. The best thing you can do for him, however, is to relax. Introversion isn't life-threatening. Furthermore, most child-introverts are no longer introverts by the time they are in their 30s.


In short, your best course of action is to stop trying to solve this problem for your son. This ball needs to be in his court, and his alone. The more you try to bounce his ball, the more likely it is your good intentions will prevent him from learning to bounce it himself.


We would do well to recall what people once said about such personality differences: It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.

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John Rosemond is a psychologist, family therapist and nationally known expert on parenting issues


Previously:


Mothers who fall short --- by design
To tell a child 'You can be anything you want to be' is irresponsible
Family 'democracy' can turn to tyranny
'Because I said so' signals strong parental leadership
It's time for parents to get their heads out of the '60s





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