Jewish World Review August 30, 2010 / 20 Elul, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Lindsay Lohan was let out of rehab early Wednesday so she can start shooting a new movie. It's a life lesson. There are millions of girls in America who never did drugs, never drank, and were never late to work, and nobody would pay a nickel to see them.
New York construction workers vowed Thursday not to help build the Ground Zero Mosque despite the jobs it would provide. The architect released a blueprint for the planned mosques and the sanctuary is very spacious. It seats a thousand pilots.
The White House hosts a Middle East peace conference in Washington Monday. The ritual never changes. We'll have the Palestinians negotiating under Islamic law, Israel negotiating under Judaic law, and President Obama negotiating under Murphy's Law.
New York education regents approved a textbook Friday that glorifies Islam and criticizes the Christian heritage of America's Founding Fathers. Hopefully the Arabs appreciate that in New York City a Jewish mayor is standing up for the right of Muslims to build a mosque wherever they like. It's their Protestant liberty.
The N.Y. City Council approved the building of a one-hundred-story skyscraper built next to the Empire State Building. It's to attract business. The city is so focused on moving movie production to New York they are offering King Kong two exercise poles.
President Obama was picketed at Martha's Vineyard Thursday by fishermen demanding an end to new federal catch limits. They cut off offshore drilling, now they're cutting off fishing. Sea World dolphins are going to kill a dolphin a year until all their demands are met.
The San Diego Padres game was halted Wednesday when a woman ran onto the field carrying a Mexican flag. The fans in the stands took a humanitarian view. They figured if she was smuggling pot across the border and into the stadium, it could help the umpire see again.
The White House directed federal prosecutors to drop deportation cases against illegal aliens unless they're criminals. It's a new country. Ten years ago the most popular drink in Phoenix was Sex on the Beach and now it's Amnesty with a Wink.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton