Jewish World Review August 20, 2010 / 10 Elul, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The New Republic's editor wrote an essay about President Obama Wednesday where he reveals that Obama's campaign aides two years ago routinely referred to him as Black Jesus. Democrats don't call him that anymore. Now they call him Hubris Humphrey.
Pakistanis rioted in the cities of Karachi over the government's slow response to flooding on Wednesday. Mobs of Pakistanis ran wild looting and burning. From a helicopter it looked like six Los Angeles high schools getting out at the same time.
The Pentagon said the last U.S. combat brigade left Iraq ending the Iraq war. It signified a triumph for U.S. and British interests there. We toppled Saddam Hussein and divided Iraq into three different countries--regular, unleaded, and unleaded supreme.
Jack Daniel's launched a campaign to recognize the whiskey's place in Washington D.C. lore. Lyndon Johnson used to serve it regularly to senators. Nobody knows how many Southern Democrats voted for the Civil Rights Act thinking it was a water project.
Betty White signed a book deal to write her autobiography Monday. She's a folk hero. Millions have looked at their retirement statements and calmed themselves down with the thought that they can host Saturday Night Live when they're eighty-eight.
California's Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Americans have the free speech right to lie about winning military medals. It's now a First Amendment right to lie. Whenever G0d gives Rod Blagojevich a good week it lasts the entire seven days.
Nancy Pelosi called for an investigation into who's funding the opposition to that Ground Zero mosque. How much money would it take to pay all the people who are mad about the mosque? The only way there'd be enough money would be if it were BP's fault.
The White House eased travel to Cuba to permit U.S. students to travel there. It could backfire. People who come back are going to demand the repeal of health care reform after they find that it means everyone has to drive fifty-year-old Chevys.
President Obama said Wednesday he has no regrets about endorsing a mosque near Ground Zero. He said this just before he spent the week campaigning for Democrats who are in big trouble. They weren't in trouble until he started campaigning for them.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton