Jewish World Review August 6, 2010 / 26 Menachem-Av, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The NBA sent a group to India Monday to promote the NBA in that nation. They are hoping to repeat their success in China. Every year the league needs a hundred million new fans to replace the hundred million fans who just left because they think it's rigged.
President Obama begrudgingly conceded Wednesday that BP had cleaned up its mess in the Gulf of Mexico. Democrats were certain they could use this crisis to get a climate change law. Now the only out-of-control gusher they can count on is Al Gore.
The EPA defended BP Tuesday, saying the dispersant BP engineers used on the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is the same stuff used in laundry detergent. It really worked. The government urged fishermen to get back in the gulf and get those shrimp while they're Tide-fresh.
Missouri rejected President Obama's health care requirement that every American must buy health insurance. Voters told pollsters it's a states' rights issue. President Obama is only withdrawing from Iraq because he needs the National Guard troops to escort Americans into health insurance offices and force their enrollment.
Mexico's president announced Thursday he may introduce legislation to legalize cocaine and pot in Mexico. Reaction in the U.S. was enthusiastic. As long as we don't have money for schools, spring break might as well last ten years instead of ten days.
Michelle Obama flew to Spain Wednesday and the U.S. State Department lifted its warning that racial prejudice in Spain makes it dangerous for African-Americans to go there. The warnings may have been right. They had thirty-six rooms waiting for her at the hotel and you couldn't get into any of them unless you went through the kitchen.
Bristol Palin broke up with Levi Johnston Tuesday after he impregnated another girl. He infuriated her further by inviting her to do a reality show as a broken-up couple. If Levi Johnston was any more heartless, Blue Cross would name a health care plan after him.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton