Jewish World Review August 18, 2009 / 28 Menachem-Av 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The White House sent unsolicited e-mail pushing health care reform. They won't say where they got the addresses or why they were collecting them. It's probably just a coincidence that everybody opposed to health care reform is on the no-fly list.
The U.S. Capitol web site crashed Friday due to the flood of e-mails over health care reform, so they couldn't read them. There's only so much electrical capacity. Never make these guys choose between reading constituent feedback and air conditioning.
Senator James Webb obtained the release of an American who's been held captive in Burma for eighteen months. The treatment of the prisoner is a major issue. The Red Cross has agreed to check on him in six months to see if he's found a job yet.
White House officials were welcomed in Michigan when they arrived to check out Standish prison as a possible destination for the terror detainees. It sits just outside Greater Detroit. As long as the detainees stay in the prison, they'll be safe.
Senate Democrats dropped the end-of-life counseling provision in their version of the health care reform bill Thursday. How you decide to end your life is a very personal decision. You shouldn't have some government bureaucrat put you in a fuel-efficient car, give you six errands to run and hand you a BlackBerry.
The Library of Congress canceled a lecture by former Abu Ghraib prison guard Lynndie England Saturday. She forced Iraqi prisoners to strip naked and kneel on top of one another in a pyramid formation. She was in Washington doing a little freelance work persuading Blue Dog Democrats to go along with the health care reform bill.
President Obama held a town hall meeting in Colorado on Saturday. He wanted to dispel misconceptions about health care reform. Euthanasia for seniors is a myth, but if that Portuguese Water Dog chews up one more pair of designer shoes, he is gone.
People for the Ethical treatment of Animals sent tons of toilet paper to Cuba Friday to help Cuba with its emergency shortage. The communist nation cannot supply its people's most basic needs. And to think that just last month Castro assured Cuba that government toilet paper will not drive private toilet paper out of business.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton