Jewish World Review August 12, 2009 / 22 Menachem-Av 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Joan Rivers was subjected to a celebrity roast on Comedy Central Sunday in New York. It was vicious, personal and devastating. When she signed up for President Obama's mandatory end-of-life counseling, she didn't know she was going to get dinner.
The London Mirror identified a Florida doctor who began giving Michael Jackson Depo Provera ten years ago. The drug is used to suppress aberrant sexual behavior. If they put it in the water coolers on Capitol Hill, it could save a lot of careers.
President Obama attended a North American summit in Mexico Monday. He addressed illegal immigration. He apologized to Mexico for the U.S. causing the problem by being such a desirable place to live and he's working as hard as he can to turn that around.
General Motors announced Monday that GM plans to sell new cars on the Internet to customers out in California. That's the logical place for the test program to start. California is millions of miles closer to cyberspace than the rest the country.
Hillary Clinton snapped at a Congolese student Monday who asked her what her husband thought about a Chinese loan to Congo. It hasn't dawned on her. One day she'll wake up and realize that nobody's ever lined up in August to tour Priscilla Presley's home.
President Obama flew to the Mexican border city of Guadalajara for a summit on Monday. The city has become a lawless hellhole. The meeting was held in Guadalajara because the Secret Service couldn't guarantee his safety at a town hall meeting in Kansas City.
President Obama told Mexico's leaders Monday that immigration reform will have to wait in line behind health care reform. Good thinking. If he offers free health care at the same time he offers illegal immigrants a path to citizenship, the population explosion will make the miracle of the loaves and fishes look like food hoarding.
The Department of Health reported that the use of anti-depressants by Americans has doubled over the last ten years. The government missed all the signs. When McDonald's began selling Happy Meals for Adults the FDA should have checked the recipe.
The American Association of Retired Persons suffered defections this week over health care reform. Retirees on both sides of the issue are furious. You can see by looking at them that they have been accustomed to affordable drugs since Woodstock.
Mexican drug gangs were reported Monday stealing oil from Mexico pipelines and smuggling the oil across the border. It's easy to smuggle. They melt the oil down to powder form, then dye the powder white, and the border patrol just waves it through.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton