In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 14, 2008 / 13 Menachem-Av 5768

Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | With all the depressing talk of gas-saving "staycations" this summer, it's no surprise that I'm getting lots of news releases from people who want me to promote the ultimate staycation: The Family Camping Experience.

Clearly the public relations folks at these companies don't know me or they would realize that sending me a news release that offers suggestions on how to, and I am not making this up, "Cook on a Mountainside in the Worst Conditions" was a mistake. Sorry but I happen to think that the words "vacation" and "worst conditions" go together almost as well as, say, Barack Obama and plaid flannel.

Then there was the advisory from the makers of a handheld bug-repelling device that "efficiently repels black flies, mosquitoes and no-see-ums." You know what else repels those insects? Hotel rooms, that's what. Big, sumptuous hotel rooms with windows that are sealed shut and beds that don't brag in boldface type about having a "chest-high heat baffle and forehead comfort tube." I refuse to take a vacation/staycation where, rather than contemplate the supreme joy that comes with an impossibly high thread count I must fumble for a blow-up pillow that looks and smells like a kid's swim ring. The camp-bed boasts a "silken" lining. That's right; just like a CASKET.

The nation's understandable obsession with high gas prices has created a cottage industry of people who hate cottages. Stark-white cedar-shingled oceanfront cottages with central air, flat-screen plasma TVs and portable wine cellars, that is. Ahhhhhh.

But, then, why would I want that sort of comfort when I could embrace the Great Outdoors? Why, with my stainless-steel multi-tool, the absolute latest in versatile camping knick-knacks, I can not only open a can of cold beef stew under the, ick, stars, but also use the handy hook at the end to disembowel a bear.

Speaking of bears, I'm reminded via one news release that campers should always remember to hang all foodstuffs high in the trees so as not to tempt the wildlife. You know where wild animals won't walk up and try to take your supper? Restaurants, that's where. Fabulous restaurants with ICE and linen napkins. When was the last time you actually saw a hungry coyote strolling through Ruth's Chris Steakhouse? My point. Plus they're probably too stupid to order the bread pudding. You know coyotes.

One news release reminded me that stay-cationers should invest in a portable navigation system. These are especially useful for campers who cannot find their rear ends with both hands and a flashlight. They're small enough to fit in your hand, conveniently leaving the other hand for waving goodbye to any hope of ever seeing your family again. I have a favorite navigation system, too. It's called a pilot. A camping staycation? Pass.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.

Honesty in the name of fashion
Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers
Trendy new ailment not for everybody
What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?
Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
Little wonder many voters are confused
Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max!
Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services