"That's it. I'm running for Congress. Where else can an adult accomplish so
little and get paid so well?"
"Ah, yes, you speak of a recent report in the Wall Street Journal. According
to Taxpayers for Common Sense, the 110th Congress has passed fewer public
laws 294 than any session of Congress in 20 years."
"What the heck has the Congress been doing?"
"Passing lots of decrees and resolutions public pronouncements that
mostly don't mean much. So far, the 110th Congress has passed more than 1,900 of
"What kind of resolutions?"
"Take Senate Resolution 440. It recognizes soil as an essential natural
resource. It also praises soil professionals for playing a critical role in
managing our nation's natural resources."
"That's fair enough. America's dirt has been underrated for years."
"Then there is Senate Resolution 262. It designated July 2007 as National
"If our Congress is going to praise dirt, it ought to praise the stuff that
grows in it."
"That brings us to Senate Resolution 180. It recognized the 70th anniversary
of the Idaho Potato Commission. It also designated May 2007 as Idaho Potato
"If Congress is going to praise watermelon, why not the potato? You can't
make fries out of watermelons. Surely the Democrat Congress passed the key
spending bills that keep our government running."
"You refer to the 13 separate appropriation bills that Congress must pass
and the president must sign to fund all the departments and activities of the
federal government. Our Congress didn't pass even ONE of the 2009
appropriation bills even though that is one of its primary responsibilities."
"How will the Democrats running Congress fund the government then?"
"They'll likely wait until the last minute, then combine all 13 spending
bills into one massive bill what they call an omnibus bill. Politicians love
omnibus bills because they can sneak in all kinds of goodies before anybody
"Surely the Democrats running Congress passed important legislation of some
"Well, they passed the largest expansion in college aid in 60 years,
increased the minimum wage, extended unemployment benefits, passed a $168 billion
stimulus package and also passed a $300 billion mortgage bill to bail out
individuals and finance companies that made boneheaded decisions."
"They're even better at spending dough than Republicans. But surely they
tackled some of the really important stuff. How about allowing more drilling
where we know the oil is so America can produce more of its own oil and gas?
What about doing something about the nutty ethanol policies that are driving up
"They didn't get around to such things, but they did designate June 30th as
National Corvette Day."
"Hey, guys with toupees should have their own day, too."
"To be fair, the Democrat Congress is up against a Republican president who
is blocking its efforts to pass the Democrats' ideas into law. Back in 1995,
when Clinton was president and the House and Senate were Republican, not many
bills got passed into law, either. That session of Congress was almost as
unproductive as our current one."
"What are you suggesting?"
"It's generally a good thing when Congress is unproductive gridlock is
good. The Democrats in Congress have lots of ambitious ideas to grow the
government, increase regulation and increase taxes. G-d help us if the voters give
them a Democrat president to pass their ideas into law."
"That doesn't sound good. So what should we do?"
"We should celebrate the fact that the Democrats in Congress have got so
little done. We should be grateful Congress is limited to passing meaningless
resolutions, such as decreeing May 5-9 as National Substitute Teacher
"But we SHOULD praise our substitute teachers. How'd you like it if your
career choice involved spitballs in your hair and laxatives slipped into your