Jewish World Review August 31, 2006 / 7 Elul, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tom Cruise cut a deal Monday to be financed by Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder. He had better shut up about drugs in the NFL. There have been years when the Chicago Bears looked so bad, the vendors at Soldier Field sold Prozac by the cup.
New Mexico State's football coach Hal Mumme was sued by three players Monday who say they were kicked off the team for their Muslim beliefs. They did behave suspiciously. Every time the quarterback called for the bomb they drove up in a car.
The Pentagon sent the USS Shiloh into the port of Yokosuka Tuesday to prevent an irrational attack by North Korea on Japan. Anything could happen. The leader of North Korea is so insane he is this close to losing his office on the Paramount lot.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger reached agreements with three tribal casinos in California Tuesday for a massive expansion of slot machines. They are popular. However, if you get three lemons in a row you have to get elected governor to stay famous.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2006, Argus Hamilton