Jewish World Review August 22, 2006 / 28 Menachem-Av, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Snakes on a Plane starring Samuel Jackson opened in theaters nationwide this past weekend. It's really not that difficult to smuggle snakes through airport screening. Homeland Security promised never to profile on the basis of skin texture.
Tiger Woods won the PGA Championship in Chicago Sunday, forcing Buick to give away another car. It's starting to add up. If you were wondering who was behind last week's call to test pro golfers for steroids, put your money on General Motors.
Heather Mills McCartney was enraged by Paul's divorce offer of fifty million pounds if she will never mention him again. She wants fame. She may divorce him in Los Angeles where under state law, each party gets fifty percent of the publicity.
Bill Clinton was given a sixtieth birthday party Saturday by his friends and family. He admitted he hates being sixty years old, and for good reason. After everybody sang Happy Birthday, a registered nurse popped out of a giant bran muffin.
Saddam Hussein's second trial for genocide began Monday. The prosecutors are rabid to convict him. In a last ditch attempt to get out of Baghdad before they shoot him, he's just confessed that one of the people he killed was JonBenet Ramsey.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton