Jewish World Review August 11, 2006 / 17 Menachem-Av, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
NFL owners chose Roger Goodell as their third-ever commissioner Tuesday. In the last sixty years only North Korea and Cuba have had fewer leadership changes than pro football. There's something about revenue sharing that discourages turnover.
General Motors Chairman Rick Wagoner insisted Wednesday that four-dollar-a-gallon gas won't hurt SUV sales. The problem solves itself. As Americans sell their children to buy gasoline they'll eventually be able to downsize to more a fuel-efficient car.
Dennis Miller signed a deal Tuesday to perform for Fox News. He will provide daily conservative commentary for the Fox News Channel and the Fox News website. Suddenly and without warning, Mel Gibson is now the second-most disinvited actor in Hollywood.
Senator Joe Lieberman told Connecticut voters Wednesday he will run for the U.S. Senate as an independent following his Democratic primary loss Tuesday. He said he won't accept defeat. Now it is Al Gore's job to get him into treatment.
U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney of Georgia lost the Democratic primary Tuesday. She sang a song about President Bush in her concession speech. She just signed a major modeling contract in Georgia to be the face of this year's record nut harvest.
Scotland Yard arrested three tabloid stringers Monday for bugging the phones of Prince Charles and his sons. These wiretaps could save the royal family. If Heather Mills is making a play for Prince William it's time for another female guest star to go for a ride in the car-car.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton