Jewish World Review August 9, 2006 / 15 Menachem-Av, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
New York Mets star Paul Lo Duca was accused of adultery by his Playboy model wife. No one can believe he cheated on a Playboy model. Bill Clinton called him in the locker room and asked him if he would like to run for senator in Connecticut.
The Bill Clinton Library announced plans to observe Bill Clinton's sixtieth birthday next week. There's a genuine nostalgia for the Clinton administration throughout the country. Honor and dignity hasn't worked out as well as we had hoped.
The Arab League held an emergency meeting in Beirut Monday. It wasn't much of a fun convention. Neither Shiites nor Sunnis permit use of intoxicating liquors, which really shoots a hole in Mel Gibson's theory that alcohol causes anti-Semitism.
Israel recalled its ambassador to Venezuela Monday when Hugo Chavez issued a statement backing Iran. Wise move. Iranian newspapers didn't bother to run Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic rant because they have a policy against preaching to the choir.
President Bush took three books to read on vacation in Texas Saturday. Two are biographies of Abe Lincoln and one is a history of polio in America. What does this tell you about Iraq when the president is boning up on civil war and paralysis?
Fidel Castro was visited in a Havana Hospital on Sunday by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez as the Cuban dictator recovers from what is rumored to have been bleeding intestines. He couldn't have had a seizure. There is nothing left to seize.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton