Jewish World Review August 8, 2006 / 14 Menachem-Av, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Tiger Woods won the Buick Open Sunday in his fiftieth PGA tour victory. He's now the youngest man ever with fifty wins. To keep him from breaking the rest of Jack Nicklaus's records, Exxon Mobil would have to take him over and close him down.
John Glenn was cited by police after a car wreck in Ohio Friday. The former astronaut was driving home from a fund-raiser when he turned in front of another car and caused a collision. The thing about driving a car is, a monkey can't do it.
Mel Gibson was defended by actors and producers and agents Saturday following his anti-Semitic outburst in Malibu. It's no surprise that everyone's rallying around him. Hollywood lives by a theology that hates the sin but loves the director.
Floyd Landis received a vote of confidence Sunday from Tour de France legend Lance Armstrong in the wake of the doping allegations. You can't beat the good-natured camaraderie between champion bicyclists. They're always needling each other.
British Petroleum shut down the Prudhoe Bay oil field in Alaska Sunday after finding a small oil spill near the pipeline. They caught it early. They were alerted to the spill when a helicopter pilot noticed a herd of SUVs licking at the snow.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton