Jewish World Review August 1, 2006 / 7 Menachem-Av, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Israel agreed Sunday to suspend bombing of Southern Lebanon for forty-eight hours unless it sees preparation for attacks. Hezbollah needed the forty-eight hour break. They've got a stack of Mel Gibson movies they haven't had time to watch.
Mel Gibson was cited for drunk driving Friday in Malibu, where he delivered an anti-Semitic rant to the cops. The small talk was contentious. They decided to give him a breathalyzer test after he blamed the Jews for this weather we've been having.
Princess Diana was eulogized Sunday in a television movie about her marriage to Prince Charles. They drifted apart rapidly. On their honeymoon night they heard a loud knock on the bedroom door and she asked Charles to hide in the closet.
The New York Times said Hillary Clinton and John McCain had a vodka-drinking contest in Estonia. Everyone's distancing themselves from President Bush. The front-runners of both political parties want to establish that they haven't quit drinking.
Hillary Clinton flew to the Hudson Valley on Saturday and attended the horse races at Saratoga Race Course. This is where she really excels. Thirty years ago she made her political fortune when she bet it all on Ne'er Do Well to become president.
The New York Times refused Sunday to endorse three-term Senator Joe Lieberman in next week's Connecticut Democratic primary. That's how tough the newspaper business is. This is what a newspaper has to do to keep Mel Gibson as a subscriber.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2006, Argus Hamilton