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Nov, 19, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality

Elliot B. Gertel: 'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?

Nov, 18, 2008

Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason

Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?

Nov, 17, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason

Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?

Nov, 14, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia

Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead

Nov, 13, 2008

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic

The Kosher Gourmet by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla

Nov, 12, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers

Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks

Nov, 11, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?

Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate

Nov, 10, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?

Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist

Nov, 7, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality

Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy

Nov, 6, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism

The Kosher Gourmet By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes

Nov, 5, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors

Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie

Nov, 4, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law

Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East

Nov, 3, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?

Jonathan Tobin: Was He Wrong About Everything?

Oct. 31, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Our Immutable Noble Essence

Caroline B. Glick: Running against Bush

Oct. 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: The End of the Special Relationship?

Steve Lipman: 'Kid Kosher' Gets A Title Shot

Oct. 29, 2008

Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: GET US THE TAPE THE L.A. TIMES REFUSES TO RELEASE, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH!

Dr. Ari Korenblit: Making The Write Choice for President

Oct. 28, 2008

Mona Charen: Denial runs through American Jewry

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Sell-off to capitalism or sell-out to Islam?

Oct. 27, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Are tax deductions for charitable donations moral?

Jonathan Mark: The Mystery Of The Arab-American Vote

Oct. 24, 2008

'Why aren't all religious people vegetarians?': Response by Miriam Kosman

Caroline B. Glick: Testing Obama's mettle

Oct. 23, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Obama Would Fail Security Clearance

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A fast chicken dish with an Asian accent

Oct. 20, 2008

Gary Rosenblatt: Still One Torah

Jonathan Tobin: Government 'Gifts' Are Not Free

Oct. 17, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Sukkos and the Great Meltdown

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of law

Oct. 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Copying DVDs: RIP OR RIPOFF?

Cal Thomas: Blaming the Jews (again)

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review August 5, 2005 /29 Tammuz, 5765

News to a Muse...

By Gene Weingarten


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Of all of America's excellent cities,

Mine is the one most conducive to ditties.

Which is strange, since D.C. (almost all of the time)

Is lacking not only in reason, but rhyme.

When Justice O'Connor said she'd step down,

That the tough job had started to stress her,

A frenzy of jousting fell over this town

Over who would be named her successor.

The left wanted anyone left of far right,

And the right sought Attila the Hun,

The hawks favored backers of nuclear might,

NRA dug a guy with a gun.

The greens sought a friend of both bunny and bear,

The church wanted fetal protection,

The wrinklies, a person to help Medicare,

The prez, one immune to rejection.

Gals wanted a gal to replace the last gal,

Hispanics sought parity, fast.

Blacks wanted a guy who's more of a pal

Than the black who was sent up there last.

Jews wanted a Jew, Danes wanted a Dane,

And Muslims, one of their own.

There were immigrant lobbies for natives of Spain,

Morocco and Sierra Leone.

All sides went all out to get in their shout,

Taking stances from which they'd not budge.

The only thing no one was talking about

Was who would have been the best judge.

The capital's blessed with a new, two-part miracle,

Though the proof that we have is mostly empirical:

For once — and at last — we've a good baseball club,

Plus, the feckless zoo pandas created a cub.

Coincidence? Maybe. Perhaps it's not fated —

The joyful events might well not be related.

But in this hot cauldron of strife and dissension,

It sure seems to signal Divine Intervention.

Miracles happen, they say, by the threes,

So I'm awaiting a third, down on my knees:

A '08 candidate who (dare we hope?)

Isn't a dork or a dope.

The city's aflame

About whom to blame

Over leaking the name

Of one Valerie Plame

It's a little arcane

But I'll try to explain

And put into your brain

The whole complex chain

See, Val was a spook

And by some crazy fluke

Saddam had no nuke

Which brought a rebuke

From Valerie's mate

Which started a spate

Of spite and of hate

That just won't abate

Rove's name has been bared

And sources were shared

And near-war was declared

. . . Um, if anyone cared.

Hundreds of cats, thousands of cats!

Millions and billions and trillions of cats!

Cats in the rafters, cats on the bed!

Cats who are living and cats who are dead!

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This is the tale of the gal from Mount Vernon

Whose house had the neighbors' poor stomachs a-turnin'

With odors that proved to be coming from cats

In numbers erasing all previous stats.

Like George of Mount Vernon, the lady won't lie,

"I got overwhelmed," she said, starting to cry.

She began with the best of intentions, she said —

But screwed up that business of planning ahead.

I'm addressing myself to a different George now,

Since this offers a lesson you're missing, somehow:

When the fur is a-flying 'cause you've called a bad game,

The least you can do is to shoulder the blame.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.


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