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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 15, 2005 / 10 Av, 5765

When Heterosexual Men Marry (Each Other)

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The law of unintended consequences always produces interesting results. Here's a doozy.

A little over a week ago, two heterosexual fellows in Canada, invoking their rights under Canada's recently passed same-sex marriage legislation, announced their intentions to marry. Drinking pals Bill Dalrymple, 56, and Bryan Pinn, 65, said they planned to marry not because they are gay but for the tax breaks.

News of the pending engagement didn't sit well with same-sex marriage activist Bruce Walker, a Toronto lawyer. He complained that marriage should be for love.

Well, who is Walker to criticize? He used to argue that if two consenting adults of the same sex wanted to marry, it was nobody's business but theirs. Now that two fellows of the same sex want to marry — perhaps to qualify for family discounts at the neighborhood pub — what business is it of his?

Where Canada is concerned, marital preconditions are over, and good riddance.

It used to be that marriage was sacred. A man would leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife as one flesh. It was a powerful commitment, a duty, an institution. What's worse, it meant you weren't allowed to see another woman naked for the rest of your life.

It used to be that governments gave breaks to married folks because it was ultimately good for society. The family has always been the building block of a healthy society, and encouraging family life was good for everyone.

It's true that heterosexual men and women have made a mess out of traditional marriage. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce — and that only pertains to folks who bother marrying. Many heterosexual folks prefer cohabitation, as it provides many of the goodies of marriage without the hassles.

But cohabitation frequently fails and men and women become so suspicious of each other, they end up living alone. That means millions of single women spend their free time playing with their two cats, while millions of single men are slumped over a bar stool.

That's why those two heterosexual Canadian fellows may be on to something. Perhaps more people should marry their buddies.

If single heterosexual women married their female friends, they'd avoid the loneliness of single life, while enjoying the benefits of marriage. If one was a member of a country club, for instance, the other would be able to join as her "spouse." The only downside of women marrying their friends would be a significant increase in four-cat households, but then you can't have everything.

Single heterosexual men could enjoy similar benefits from marrying their buddies. They would never spend their weekends window shopping at the Crate and Barrel with their "spouse," but business would be brisk at the Keg and Barrel.

You'd find married heterosexual fellows doing all kinds of things they could never do with a real wife. The natural course of any man who is single long enough, after all, is to wake up in a pile of dirty laundry still clutching the tequila bottle he began sipping out of a few days before. At least if he married a buddy, he'd be able to self-destruct with a little company.

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Such a married couple would sit up all night drinking beer and watching Beavis and Butthead reruns. They'd argue over who is hotter, Liv Tyler or Halle Berry (and Halle wins hands down). If a fight broke out and guacamole dip ended up all over the rug, who cares.

Such an existence would be unthinkable with a wife. A real wife would never guide her husband to the bathroom after he won a drinking contest down at the VFW, and she certainly wouldn't celebrate his victory the following morning by bringing him a Big Mac, a large Coke and a bottle of aspirin.

Well, despite the numerous benefits of marrying one's buddy, the two Canadian fellows recently decided not to go through with it. The media attention was getting to them.

Still, perhaps America ought to follow the lead of our neighbors up north. Instead of working to strengthen marriage as an institution, we ought to broaden it. We ought to make its benefits available to any consenting adults who want at them.

Such as married drinking pals, who deserve the right to spend their tax savings buying extra rounds at the pub.

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