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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 22, 2005 / 17 Av, 5765

Plan well: Remarriage not necessarily a greener pasture

By Jan L. Warner & Jan Collins


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Q: Six years ago, my husband and I divorced after 48 years of marriage, and both of us remarried. Unfortunately, his second wife fell on their honeymoon, was hospitalized, had a stroke and, after spending the better part of three years in a nursing home, died.

Because she had few assets and little income, my former husband wound up footing most of her nursing home bills that, with stock market losses, obliterated his share of our assets.

My second husband, who was as healthy as a horse and five years my junior, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease two years ago. The illness has taken its toll rather quickly, and he is now in a nursing home because I am no longer able to care for him at home. I am estranged from my two children, who are still peeved because I divorced their father. I was pretty much at my wit's end until my former husband and I began talking. We now talk to each other daily, see each other for dinner, and get along better than we did when we were married. In all likelihood, my second husband's illness will devastate me financially because he refused to do any planning, and my share of the divorce settlement is in jeopardy.

My former husband and I, both in our late 70s, have learned that we left too many questions about our relationship unanswered when we divorced and were ignorant about the pitfalls of remarriage. We now realize that our lawyers were quite oblivious to the problems that would be facing us in our waning years and did not counsel us about our long-range needs. Don't get me wrong! I am not blaming anyone, but just stating facts. Even though my ex and I both know there is no solution to the dilemma in which we now find ourselves, I hope you will print this letter to let your readers know the grass is not always greener.

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A: With the aging population growing by leaps and bounds, consideration of the financial risks attendant to remarriage in later years is essential, but often lacking. Matrimonial lawyers who represent elderly clients, not to mention clients with elderly parents or disabled children, must take a proactive role in helping to plan for post-divorce issues — skills that many lawyers do not have. As you have learned, it's not just at the time of divorce that these important questions raise their ugly heads. It is also at the time of remarriage and, in some instances, cohabitation.

Here are just some of the areas where expertise and planning are needed before divorce, remarriage or cohabitation:

    AFTER DIVORCE

  • Protecting of Social Security, pension, health care and related benefits;

  • Including use of long-term care insurance as a part of the divorce package, and premarital agreements to try to absorb a large part of the potential cost of nursing home care;

  • Finalizing temporary and post-divorce estate planning that includes new wills, powers of attorney and health care documents; and

  • Resolving life insurance beneficiary designations and policy ownership, benefit plans, and how to handle assets that may be held in joint ownership or some other shared-ownership arrangement.

    REMARRIAGE / COHABITATION

  • Investigating long-term care issues — including the effects and risks of co-habitation agreements, prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements (the latter two offer no protection against your responsibility for long-term care expenses)

  • Funding alternatives for long-term care, asset-preservation planning and Medicaid eligibility — important issues for seniors even thinking about remarriage, for those with disabled children, and for those who now receive public benefits or may one day need Medicaid;

  • Planning for incapacity and disability through powers of attorney and health care documents;

  • Considering guardianship and conservatorship options and risks;

  • Detailing grandparent visitation rights — an increasingly important issue as our mobile society divorces; and

  • Planning for disabled spouses and children through special needs trusts and other documents.

Clearly, there are many more issues, but these underscore the need for matrimonial lawyers to pay attention to and understand the long-term problems of their clients, and to advise them appropriately. It is also very important for those seniors who decide to divorce to educate themselves — before the fact — about the basics and then insist that their lawyers factor these important issues into the equation to make sure those seniors receive proper advice.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JAN L. WARNER received his A.B. and J.D. degrees from the University of South Carolina and earned a Master of Legal Letters (L.L.M.) in Taxation from the Emory University School of Law in Atlanta, Georgia. He is a frequent lecturer at legal education and public information programs throughout the United States. His articles have been published in national and state legal publications. Jan Collins began co-authoring Flying SoloŽ in 1989. She has more than 27 years of experience as a journalist, writer, and editor. To comment or ask a question, please click here.

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