In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 10, 2005 / 5 Meanachem-Av, 5765

The Most Important Moment

By Marty Nemko

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Have you ever thought, "I want to do this project." but get derailed by a worry such as:

It's too hard.

It's so much work.

I'll be embarrassed if I fail.

If I do it, they'll give me even more work.

Ageism could impede me.

Failing at this will confirm I'm a loser?

Of course, there are projects you'll decide aren't worth the effort, but once you rationally determine a task is worth tackling, key to getting it done (and to improving your psychological health) is to immediately replace any negative thoughts with "What's my next tiny step?" If you don't know, get help: from an expert, a book, whatever. And then, with all the laser-beam focus you can muster, work on that next tiny step.

I use that approach, not only at work, but outside. For example, for the first time in my life, I'll be auditioning for a part in a community theater production: Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman.

If I get the part, I will no doubt be afraid of forgetting my lines, so it's tempting to avoid the stress and not try out, but the moment I become aware of the fear, I'm forcing myself to think, "Okay, what is my next tiny step?"

To ensure I know what my next step is, I call on free experts by googling. For example, I recently googled "auditioning," which revealed wonderful articles written by top acting coaches. If I get cast, I'll google terms like "memorizing lines" and will likely find great advice on that.

Then I'll start memorizing, one line at a time. I will not allow myself to think ahead to how much more I have to memorize. I will not allow myself to imagine the audience murmuring as I stand there unable to remember a line. I will say "Stop! Learn your next line." And I hope that, like the mountain climber who puts one foot in front of the other, I will soon look back delighted to see how far I have come.

I'll also try to calm myself by facing the worst case scenario. If, despite my best effort, I forget some lines and find myself having to ad lib, the world won't end. Perhaps the audience won't even notice, and even if they do, in the larger scheme of things, it's of small consequence. They'll sniff, "He couldn't memorize his lines," and, at worst, enjoy the play a bit less. No tragedy. And if I give my best effort, which I definitely would, that worst-case scenario probably won't occur.

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Even at work, it's useful to face the worst case scenario. Let's say you fear that if you do a bad job on a project at work, you'll be fired. Realize that if that's all it took to get you fired, you're probably in the wrong job and your next job will probably be a better fit.

I'm using the next-tiny-step approach as I'm writing this column. For example, before starting it and often while writing it, I was worried I'd have nothing to say or that it would come out badly, but I forced myself to stay in the moment: "What should I try now?" and then I tried something. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, but I kept forcing myself to think, "Okay, what should I do next?" And amid the failing efforts, there were successful ones, which provided fuel to go on. And then it was done! I reread it and although I've written hundreds of columns before, there is a joy, or perhaps just a relief that "I did it!"

In my 55 years on this earth, among my greatest pleasures has been conquering those little tasks, which together lead to accomplishing big ones, such as having written five published books.

So, what is the most important moment? Now. Don't look back; don't look forward. Whether you're doing a term paper, a project at work, starting a business, or even trying out for a play, key to success is forcing yourself to remain fully focused on your next tiny step.

What's your next tiny step on a project you've been procrastinating? Do it now.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

400+ of Dr. Nemko's published writings are on www.martynemko.com. Comment by clicking here.


© 2005, Dr. Marty Nemko