Jewish World Review August 26, 2005 / 21 Menachem-Av, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Los Angeles Dodgers had a racial confrontation between team stars Milton Bradley and Jeff Kent Monday. It's normal. Black people and white people have a tough time getting along in Los Angeles because neither one of us speaks Spanish.
The National Zoo began a contest Monday to name its giant panda cub. You can vote online for one of five names pre-selected by the government of China. Just think, the winner of the first election in Chinese history could be Wal-Mart the Pooh.
March of the Penguins soared at the box office on Saturday. It shows penguins making their way across the bottom of the earth in temperatures approaching one hundred degrees below zero. The original title of the movie was Being Ted Williams.
Pat Robertson said Tuesday the U.S. should assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. President Chavez got a high-five from Fidel Castro. An assassination plot is the closest the U.S. government can come to bestowing eternal life on a dictator.
Saddam Hussein fired the fifteen hundred defense lawyers working on his case Monday. He didn't enjoy it at all. Once you've boiled people in oil and run them through woodchippers, firing people feels like you are hitting from the ladies tees.
People for the American Way said they will oppose Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. They said he tried to narrow civil rights and women's rights and environmental rights. These rights can be found in the U.S. Constitution only if Ouija is in the mood to talk.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton