In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 5, 2005 / 29 Tammuz, 5765

Here kitty, kitty

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I just got off the phone with my Cat Captain. A cat captain is part animal rights activist, part kitty welfare worker and part personal counselor.

It all started when the husband discovered a stray cat had given birth to four kittens between our woodpile and the back of the house.

The husband isn't normally a sleuth, but the bird feathers scattered around the yard and the headless robin were rather obvious clues that something was up.

‘Just what we need, ’ he said, as we stood there gazing at the kittens, ‘our own cat park. ’

‘Yes, ’ I said. ‘Two years from now, we'll be on the nightly news as the eccentric couple overrun by felines. ’

‘But we are not cat people, ’ he said.

‘She doesn't know that, ’ I said. ‘Why don't I get the momma some milk? ’

‘You're going to feed her? ’ the husband asked.

‘I'm not feeding her, I'm just hydrating her because she's nursing.’

‘All right, ’ he said. ‘But when they're weaned, they're outta here. ’

‘Like a Jet Ski, ’ I said.

Acutely aware that 5 times 5 equals 25 (cats, that is), and 25 times 25 equals 625 and that a television camera adds 10 pounds, I began making calls. The first two agencies that would accept the cats would also let them go ‘nighty-night, ’ if you get my drift.

My last phone call led to a feral rescue group, which led to me being assigned to a Cat Captain. When I expressed my disdain, er concern, about cats multiplying like rabbits, my Cat Captain made it clear it would be illegal to kill the cats.

I pointed out that it was open season on strays in Minnesota and Wyoming and she pointed out that I lived in neither. ‘This is true, ’ I said. ‘And I wasn't thinking of doing any such thing, and don't take this the wrong way, but do ferals have any, uh, you know, natural predators? ’

‘Traffic, ’ she said. (I tried visualizing a mini-van careening through the backyard.) ‘And freezing cold. ’ (Highly unlikely in the middle of summer.)

The Cat Captain suggested TNR: trap, neuter, return. Once the kittens were weaned she would help trap them in ‘catacombs, ’ have each one neutered, groomed, then returned to us with a clipped ear so they would be permanently identified as ‘fixed. ’

There would be a $20 fee per cat. In the meantime, I should decide whether I wanted to ‘manage a feral colony’ or ‘secure foster care.’

I agreed to TNR, but drew the line at becoming Cat Woman, overseeing a colony of strays. So now the Cat Captain calls weekly to see if the cats are weaned, how my foster care arrangements are coming, and to make sure there are no tire tracks the backyard.

Donate to JWR

I have been preparing the cats, going outside each morning and telling them in a soft, soothing voice, that they are going to go for a little ride and have a little snip-snip elective surgery soon.

I also tell them about the Kitty Cat Relocation Plan I have for them in which they will be taken to barns and adopt new identities as mousers.

The cats listen intently, hiss and arch their backs when I mention the snip-snip part, and then resume attacking invisible things in the air and generally acting like they are hyped up on methamphetamines.

I think they understand the plan and accept it. The Cat Captain completely agrees.

The husband thinks the robin may not be the only one who lost his head.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.


© 2005, Lori Borgman