 |
|
February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
|
| |
Jewish World Review
August 11, 2003
/ 13 Menachem-Av, 5763
The lie that was a blessing
By
Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn
http://www.jewishworldreview.com |
Today was my mother's yartzeit, anniversary of her death. She's been gone 16 years already, but it would have been a lot longer if not for the lie that I told.
I was an only child. That meant I got a lot of attention, but it also meant my parents were able to give each other a lot of attention as well. Without a passel of kids to distract energy, and with me, a fairly well-behaved child, my parents throughout my life were like two lovebirds, catering to and attending to each other's needs.
Through bitter life experienced, they had learned to be kind to each other. My father, the youngest of four, lost his own father when he was four. He grew up in Hungary, but was persuaded that his future was in America, so he made his way alone at the ripe old age of 20 to the United States, never to see his mother again. He struggled, and he was alone.
My mother, a middle child of many, quit school in what today would be considered middle school to work in a sweat shop as a milliner. She took the trolley every day and was careful not to lose her nickel. She made good money when everyone else was starving during the depression. Yet, she forever bore the scars of quitting school young, thinking to the end that she was not the intelligent person she was.
My parents met, married, had me, and lived a decent, hardworking life. My father always treated my mother like a queen, and she respected and admired him. Things that good have to go wrong, somehow, and he died before she was "ready." Maybe she never would have been ready. She told me she was so jealous of elderly couples she saw walking down the street holding hands. She had had visions of them doing the same thing. She spent two intensely lonely years before I got married myself. Not only lonely, but severely depressed as her health failed along with her emotional resources.
When her heart could barely function and she could literally not get out of bed any more, the cardiologist told her she must have bypass surgery. "What for?" she complained, sadly. That's when I told the Ultimate Lie. We had just been married two years, my husband and I, and the untrue words popped right out of my mouth: "Mom," I said, "I'm pregnant."
In that moment, everything changed. A look that I hadn't seen in a long, long time, came over her face. There was a brightness there, a glimmer of …hope.
She had the surgery. And the Good L-rd Above decided I shouldn't be a liar. After two years of trying, with the thermometers and all that, I immediately became pregnant.
My mother, who used to be pretty good in math, never bothered to notice the extra month when my daughter arrived the following year. She got ten more years after that. Time enough to become absolute best friends with my daughter and to see three more grandchildren born. Time enough for Yom Tov (religious festivals) together, visits to the zoo, snuggling in bed, baking zesty Hungarian recipes, music lessons, and kindergarten graduations.
The lovefest was mutual. The older children have fond memories of my mother, and my daughter, who remembers her best, felt she had been blessed to receive a whole cultural tradition just through knowing my mother.
We all know that lying is wrong, right?
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading."
Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn is an Orthodox Marriage & Family Therapist. To comment, please click here. To visit her website, please click here.
06/02/03: Confessions of a religious feminist, Part II
05/14/03: Confessions of a religious feminist
04/16/03: Kindliness and Blood: A Passover Thought
03/25/03: Arguing: It's a Jewish thing
© 2003, Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn
|
