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Dec. 4, 2008

Michael Freund: France vs. the Jewish right to reproduce

Frida Ghitis: Heed the security lessons of deadly siege

Dec. 3, 2008

Steven Emerson: Yes, the terrorists are winning

Don Terry: Lifetime, no see

Dec. 2, 2008

Melanie Phillips: The Mumbai atrocity is a wake-up call for a frighteningly unprepared world

Stratfor Geopolitical Intelligence Report: Strategic Motivations for the Mumbai Attack

Dec. 1, 2008

Max Freidlander, as told to Jacklyn C. Wadler: India Inkings

Mark Steyn: Whodunit!?

Nov. 28, 2008

Rabbi Ahron Rapps: An evil seed that didn't have to be

Melanie Phillips: Carpe diem --- or can we all relax now?

Nov. 26, 2008

Michael Feldberg: Meet the Orthodox Jew who laid groundwork for scientific development of ordnance that undergirds America's current world leadership

Andrea Simantov: Shades of life

Nov. 25, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Getting Emotional For Influence

The Kosher Gourmet by Ethel G. Hofman : Thanksiving feast!

Nov. 24, 2008

Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: 'I just Became a grandchild!'

Barry Rubin: Don't flatter your enemies, protect your friends

Nov. 21, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?

Caroline B. Glick: Civilization walks the plank

Nov. 20, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto

Nov, 19, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality

Elliot B. Gertel: 'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?

Nov, 18, 2008

Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason

Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?

Nov, 17, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason

Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?

Nov, 14, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia

Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead

Nov, 13, 2008

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic

The Kosher Gourmet by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla

Nov, 12, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers

Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks

Nov, 11, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?

Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate

Nov, 10, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?

Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist

Nov, 7, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality

Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy

Nov, 6, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism

The Kosher Gourmet By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes

Nov, 5, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors

Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie

Nov, 4, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law

Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review August 11, 2003 / 13 Menachem-Av, 5763

The lie that was a blessing

By Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn


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http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Today was my mother's yartzeit, anniversary of her death. She's been gone 16 years already, but it would have been a lot longer if not for the lie that I told.

I was an only child. That meant I got a lot of attention, but it also meant my parents were able to give each other a lot of attention as well. Without a passel of kids to distract energy, and with me, a fairly well-behaved child, my parents throughout my life were like two lovebirds, catering to and attending to each other's needs.

Through bitter life experienced, they had learned to be kind to each other. My father, the youngest of four, lost his own father when he was four. He grew up in Hungary, but was persuaded that his future was in America, so he made his way alone at the ripe old age of 20 to the United States, never to see his mother again.

He struggled, and he was alone.

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My mother, a middle child of many, quit school in what today would be considered middle school to work in a sweat shop as a milliner. She took the trolley every day and was careful not to lose her nickel. She made good money when everyone else was starving during the depression. Yet, she forever bore the scars of quitting school young, thinking to the end that she was not the intelligent person she was.

My parents met, married, had me, and lived a decent, hardworking life. My father always treated my mother like a queen, and she respected and admired him. Things that good have to go wrong, somehow, and he died before she was "ready." Maybe she never would have been ready. She told me she was so jealous of elderly couples she saw walking down the street holding hands. She had had visions of them doing the same thing. She spent two intensely lonely years before I got married myself. Not only lonely, but severely depressed as her health failed along with her emotional resources.

When her heart could barely function and she could literally not get out of bed any more, the cardiologist told her she must have bypass surgery. "What for?" she complained, sadly. That's when I told the Ultimate Lie. We had just been married two years, my husband and I, and the untrue words popped right out of my mouth: "Mom," I said, "I'm pregnant."

In that moment, everything changed. A look that I hadn't seen in a long, long time, came over her face. There was a brightness there, a glimmer of …hope.

She had the surgery. And the Good L-rd Above decided I shouldn't be a liar. After two years of trying, with the thermometers and all that, I immediately became pregnant.

My mother, who used to be pretty good in math, never bothered to notice the extra month when my daughter arrived the following year. She got ten more years after that. Time enough to become absolute best friends with my daughter and to see three more grandchildren born. Time enough for Yom Tov (religious festivals) together, visits to the zoo, snuggling in bed, baking zesty Hungarian recipes, music lessons, and kindergarten graduations.

The lovefest was mutual. The older children have fond memories of my mother, and my daughter, who remembers her best, felt she had been blessed to receive a whole cultural tradition just through knowing my mother.

We all know that lying is wrong, right?

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn is an Orthodox Marriage & Family Therapist. To comment, please click here. To visit her website, please click here.

06/02/03: Confessions of a religious feminist, Part II
05/14/03: Confessions of a religious feminist
04/16/03: Kindliness and Blood: A Passover Thought
03/25/03: Arguing: It's a Jewish thing

© 2003, Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn