Jewish World Review July 31, 2003 / 2 Menachem-Av, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
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Hillary Clinton led all Democrats in a New Hampshire poll
Monday as momentum swung her way. It appears she has a chance to
move back into the White House. The question is, will it have a
little doggie door so Bill can come and go at night.
Coach Rick Neuhisel threatened to sue the University of
Washington on Monday for firing him for gambling. Things are
tense. He deposited his last paycheck on Tuesday and was seen
asking the ATM machine if it wanted to go double or nothing.
Greece announced in preparation for the Olympics it will
increase the number of licensed brothels in Athens. It's not a new
idea. The American people often thought of doing this but the
Constitution only allows for one House and one Senate.
The Pentagon revealed the contents of Udey Hussein's
briefcase, which survived the six-hour firefight in Mosul. It
contained a hundred million in cash, condoms, Viagra, clean
underwear and a loud tie. Face it, disco is the dog that will not die.
Dick Gephardt addressed the San Francisco Bar Association at
the Drake Hotel last week. It was fun watching a congressman
giving advice to lawyers. They are the two least-trusted
professions in the world that don't have altar boys as assistants.
New Jersey Democrats filed papers Tuesday to draft former
U.S. Congressman and current federal prison inmate James Traficant
to run for president. Just think of how much money the taxpayers
would save in investigations. He is already in jail.
Democratic presidential candidate Joe Lieberman criticized
President Bush's Iraq policy Monday. In the next breath, he
criticized Democrats who criticized President Bush's Iraq policy.
The statement was so incoherent that President Bush called and
offered to diagram the sentence for him and show him where he went
wrong.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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