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Jewish World Review August 21, 2000/20 Menachem-Av 5760
Because of me, Joe Lieberman is where he is
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
"THE ONLY REASON Joe has the appointment is because of my wife, Betsy Cohen," Rep. Sam Gejdenson (D-Conn.) confided to the Connecticut Jewish Ledger.
"When she was 17, she went door-to-door for Joe Lieberman's first race in New Haven. Without Betsy, he would not be there," Gejdenson informed supporters at a pro-Lieberman rally in Los Angeles earlier this week.
Gejdenson has it wrong. It is true that only due to his non-stop lobbying with the Nobel committee, Elie Wiesel was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace some years ago, but -- hats off to Betsy -- it was I who made Lieberman into the person he is.
You see, Lieberman and I had a heart-to-heart talk in 1969 during a break from one of the anti-war moratoria in Manhattan.
For those too young to know, anti-Vietnam war "moratoria" were massive demonstrations at which no one inhaled. Anyway, back then, Lieberman and I didn't know each other. But we were the only two people in sight with yarmulkes, so natch we winked.
Lieberman was nice enough to offer me a warmed over kosher Devil Dog. I was impressed by his kindness, but wondered how he got to the moratorium. I walked a mere 122 blocks from Washington Heights to downtown Manhattan, but what about Joe?
"Oh," he allowed sheepishly, "I walked too -- from New Haven."
Terrific, I thought. A guy that committed, willing to walk 122 miles on a single Shabbos, has a future. And I told him so right on the spot. "Even though you're a Democrat, don't have any guilt about being against LBJ and HH -- someday, you'll be president!" Truly humbled, indeed taken aback, he thanked me for my support and said he'd get back to me with more concrete news when he was ready.
The other day he finally called.
"I've got a great exclusive for you. This isn't released yet, but I just got a private call from Al Gore. Despite the fact that I'm not going to campaign on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkos, Shemini Atzeres and Simchas Torah, and all Shabboses from here to November, he's picked me for VP.
"I'll give you the real reason. The for-the-public reason is persuasive: I'm clean. I told Clinton off -- you remember. Plus, diversity. The Clinton-Gore folks couldn't resist the opportunity to nominate a Jew.
"Anyway, here's the real scoop. Gore isn't this guy people think he is. His public persona is super-serious. Truth is, he'd goof off all the time if he didn't want to be president even more. So he figures he deserves at least Sundays off. He's tired of everyone around him going shopping every . . . the way he puts it, every heiliger Sunday. He really wants to relax a bit from all of his upcoming responsibilities. No more, 'when the stores are open, the shoppers get going.' So he figures with a guy like me around, cuttin' out every Saturday, he has a chance of getting the blue laws back on the books."
I was stunned. Lieberman and I hadn't even talked since 1969. I mean, I don't even know where he got my number.
"I need to tell ya Hillel. Don't believe all those stories you're going to read about Betsy Cohen winning my first race for me. You're going to read a lot more, too. Everybody's going to climb on the bandwagon. They've been doing it ever since I became a US senator.
"Chaim Steinstein, my first-grade buddy, says he told me to kiss up to the teacher to be class monitor. Yussel Bergberg, my college roommate at Yale, is another credit scavenger. He says it was his idea for me to try to knuckle my way onto the sponsors committee of the American Committee for Shaare Zedek Hospital.
"You're also going to read about the guy who lived across the street from the shul when I did, and about his aunt, who said he should become finance chair of my first campaign -- and won the whole thing for me.
"There's also a guy named Shlomo Shmaltz. He owns the New Haven Market. Every time I go in, he stuffs me with chumus, eggplant, baba ganoush -- and political advice. They all say, 'I knew Joe was going somewhere, and I was the FIRST to know.'
"But listen up, Hillel. It was you. You were the first one to tell me I'd be president someday. You're the one who inspired me. And you can print that! "Just one thing, don't say I took so long to acknowledge you. I'm doing teshuvah (repentance) already this year, early teshuvah, for not being in touch all these years. Just like Bill Clinton did teshuvah, so am I. I apologize. But now that my 15 years in the sun has come -- 8 as VP, 8 as President, all right 16 years -- I'm doing just what Hadassah always tells me: Be humble."
Ah, the ultimate compliment: Based on pre-reader reaction, two out of three actually believed this. Therefore, I am obliged to swear, I do not now, and never have had, any more influence on Joseph Lieberman than the baba ganoush
The secret is out!
By Rabbi Hillel Goldberg
JWR contributor Rabbi Hillel Goldberg is executive editor of the Intermountain Jewish News. Comment by clicking here.
