Home
In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 12, 2016

The News in Zingers

By Argus Hamilton





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama was joined by George W. Bush to try to console Dallas as St. Paul and Baton Rouge seethed with added tensions. The county is broken. Tech support in India just suggested that we try turning the United States off for five minutes, then turning it back on, and see if that helps.

Hillary Clinton dodged a recommendation for indictment by the FBI Director last week. She has not even been elected and already she's as close to impeachment as Bill, who didn't get impeached until his second term. It just shows that a woman can accomplish more than a man, in less time, and do it all in a pants suit.

Hillary Clinton went on the offensive Tuesday in New Hampshire where she was endorsed by Bernie Sanders. Hillary rejected the FBI Director's claim that she had been extremely careless with her home office e-mails. She would only admit to being extremely careless in picking a husband.

President Obama tried to calm the racial strife in Dallas, Baton Rouge and St. Paul Friday. A dozen years ago, he electrified the Democratic Convention declaring there is NO Black America, NO white America, NO Latino America, there is just one United States of America. Well, we showed HIM.

NASA said the spacecraft Juno has just arrived at the planet Jupiter after no communications with Earth for five years. The spacecraft is in search of intelligent life. When told that Trump and Hillary are the presidential nominees, the auto-pilot confirmed it was going in the right direction.

FBI Director Jim Comey spent five hours in Congress explaining why he cleared Hillary of charges relating to her e-mail. The FBI report said she'd been extremely reckless. However, in her defense, the FBI Director said she'd been Hillary extremely reckless, not Bill extremely reckless.

Senator Marco Rubio joined Nebraska's and Utah's senators saying he won't attend the GOP convention in Cleveland that nominates Trump. It seems like everyone in the federal government is resentful toward the Donald. The Surgeon General recently sent Donald Trump a carton of cigarettes.

Donald Trump explained how the media took his praise of Saddam Hussein completely out of context in a speech. He'd said Saddam was a bad guy before praising him for killing terrorists. It's less easy to explain what Trump meant when he said we never should have invaded Russia in '41.

Hillary Clinton was a hit at a town hall meeting in Hollywood Wednesday. She's starting to hit her stride. During her presentation, she unveiled her high technology plan that will provide every American with broadband Internet access—every American, Hillary quickly added, except her husband.

Donald Trump thanked Americans Thursday for helping him raise fifty million dollars in June, much of it in online donations. Voters appreciate the personal contact. Hillary Clinton's campaign just sent out a really nice e-mail asking you to share classified information with ten friends for good luck.

The FBI told Congress that Hillary deleted over thirty thousand emails on Thursday. Richard Nixon erased only eighteen minutes of Oval Office audiotape to get impeached. It shows that women have to do two thousand times the work that a man does in order to get the same credit in this world.

Hillary Clinton got away with having classified information on her private server because the FBI was persuaded that she's technologically unsophisticated. It's the Baby Boomer defense. Her lawyers told the FBI that Hillary Clinton's grandchildren are not old enough to provide tech support.

FBI director Jim Comey told Congress that Hillary Clinton lied to the American people. Well, there is such a thing as entertainment. George Washington's first State of the Union speech was only three minutes long because if you're never going to lie to the American people there's little else to say.

The Department of Defense announced that Pentagon nurses are taking zombie pandemic courses to train for a real outbreak. In horror movie lore, zombies are only able to survive by eating human brains. It explains why the zombies invaded Washington D.C. last week and came back hungry.

Oil and Gas Journal report the U.S. is now number-one in the world in oil reserves. We drill the most oil, the banks are booming and the stock market's at an all-time high. Wall Street is doing so well under a socialist president they are starting to wonder how well they'd do under a communist.

Bernie Sanders agreed to campaign with Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire Tuesday, sparking rumors he is patching things up. His followers are fervent. CNN reported that Bernie Sanders will endorse Hillary Clinton for president Tuesday, proving that he's not a real Bernie Sanders supporter.

Parliament ripped Tony Blair for convincing Britain to join the U.S. in overthrowing Saddam Hussein. In his palace bedroom we found Scotch, a mirror over his bed, lamps shaped like naked ladies and condoms that glow in the dark. We sent a half-million troops to overthrow Charlie Sheen.

Donald Trump arrived in Washington D.C. to meet with Republican lawmakers on Capitol Hill and seek their support for his presidential campaign. Even jealous GOP lawmakers couldn't argue with his new campaign theme. Every campaign has its ups and downs, but at least he's not going to jail.

South Africa's blade runner Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to six years in prison for shooting and killing his girlfriend through the bathroom door thinking she was a burglar. He'll be alright. If history holds true the next step after being prisoner in South Africa is being president of South Africa.

The Ku Klux Klan won a court victory in Georgia allowing the group to participate in Adopt-a-Highway program. It's a national group. There's a KKK in Los Angeles, but it stands for Kim, Khloe and Kourtney and their membership drive couldn't be more different than the one in Georgia.

Chicago had eighty-five gunfire casualties last weekend before cops shot black guys in St. Paul and in Baton Rouge. Then on Thursday, two Dallas cops were shot during an anti-police-violence protest. Syrian refugees feels so much at home that no one even looks at them as foreigners anymore.


Archives

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.


© 2011, Argus Hamilton

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles

Quantcast