Least Competent Criminals |A Jihadi's War Is Hell

• Notwithstanding the suggestion in movies, stealing a 200-pound floor model safe is a very low-return crime, as the February arrest of three pals in Kingsport, Tennessee, illustrated. After struggling to load the safe into a car's trunk (accidentally shattering the back window), they drove to one's apartment, but police were called when neighbors saw the safe being dragged across a parking lot in the middle of the night. (During the trip, it fell onto one perp's foot.) Police, following gouge marks, visited the apartment and spotted the safe, as yet unopened, in the middle of the kitchen. (Police: Why do you gentlemen have a safe? Perp: We found it in an alley.) Police opened it. It was empty. [Kingsport Times-News, 2-2-2015]

• Some jihadists who have traveled to Syria to join ISIS have complained recently (according to a Radio Free Europe dispatch) that they cannot secure work as "martyrs" because of discrimination by incumbent fighters. One "pro-ISIS" cleric, speaking for Chechens, said they "are so fed up with the long waiting lists in Syria" that they head to Iraq, where the lists are shorter. Said one, Saudis controlling suicide rosters in the Syrian theater "won't let anyone in." Their "relatives go to the front of the line using (their connections)." [News.com.au (Sydney), 5-22-2015]

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