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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 24, 2013 / 16 Tamuz, 5773

Independence Day: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Typos

By Danny Tyree





http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I hope you enjoy your watermelon, fireworks and parades this Independence Day. I'm sort of burned out on the holiday. Somehow or another I got corralled into proofreading a history textbook chapter on the American Revolution. Whether because of political correctness, a desire to give the material a contemporary feel or just plain sloppy research, the authors conducted a Boston Massacre of the facts. I assure you that:


  • Thomas Paine stirred up the colonists with a pamphlet called "Common Sense," not "Well, Duh!"

  • The Intolerable Acts were not what you have to endure during the early weeks of "American Idol."

  • The "Don't Tread On Me" flag did not have "...unless you're wearing the latest Air Jordans" in fine print.

  • As the organizer of the first Committee of Correspondence, Samuel Adams never used the abbreviation ROFLMPWO (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Powdered Wig Off).

  • The Stamp Act Congress was organized to deal with oppressive taxes imposed by the British, not to choose between "young Elvis" and "fat Elvis."

  • The Patriots and the Loyalists (ignore any remaining references to "the Patriots Versus the Steelers"!) argued over many things, but whether the Liberty Bell sounded better on vinyl or in digital format was not one of them.



  • Despite its appeal to urban audiences, there was no "Midnight Low-Ride of Paul Revere." And it is only 21st century imprecision that would begin a poem "On the 18th of April in 75-ish..."

  • The famous "shot heard round the world" was met with cheers, not a half-hearted NRA observation of "Yeah, but if they'd had a higher-capacity magazine..."

  • When Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap, he called it "macaroni," not "gluten free."

  • Patrick Henry indeed declared "Give me liberty or give me death," not "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."

  • Thomas Jefferson realized that government derives power from the consent of the governed — not from Ben Franklin's cockamamie kite!

  • The leaders of the Revolution were keenly concerned about "natural rights" — not "genetically modified rights."

  • When John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence large enough for King George III to read it across the Atlantic, it met with the approval of his peers — not an outburst of "John Hancock? What kind of Independence Day autograph is that??? I was hoping for Will Smith."

  • No evidence exists that Betsy Ross organized an early needle exchange program.

  • The Minutemen were brave colonial soldiers, not "pizza delivery guys with a really ambitious business model."

  • Naval hero John Paul Jones did not think the nation's founding should be marked as "Co-Dependence Day," so he did not utter the words, "I have not yet begun to enable."

  • Valley Forge was the scene of valiant sacrifice, not the composition of the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

  • George Washington was declared Father of Our Country because of his selfless leadership skills, not a DNA test and a sleazy private investigator named Mike.


One of my friends has the unenviable task of proofreading the chapter on World War II. My only advice is, if the section on Gen. Douglas MacArthur's retreat from the Philippines has him promising, "I shall re-gift," get ready for a really long ordeal..

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Controversial author Harlan Ellison once described the work of Mr. Tyree as "wonkily extrapolative" and said his mind "works like a demented cuckoo clock." Tyree generated a particular buzz on the Internet with his column spoofing real-life Christian nudist camps. A lifelong small-town southerner, he graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 1982 with a bachelor's degree in Mass Communications.



Previously:


Let's Have More Wrist Slap Punishments

Father's Day: Can It Survive?

© 2013, Danny Tyree

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