Jewish World Review July 27, 2011 / 25 Tamuz, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama spoke to the nation about the stalled debt crisis talks Monday followed by John Boehner's GOP reply. The government fell apart the same day NFL football was saved. It looks like Armageddon really did happen in May and we've just arrived at the Gates of Paradise.
China's scientists finished a study on time travel Monday and stated it's impossible because nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. They had to try. China realized their only way of dumping U.S. Treasury bonds was to go back in time and never buy them in the first place.
The Weather Channel reported that Washington D.C. hit an all-time record of one hundred and five degrees last weekend. The heat affected the budget talks. Everyone was pushing President Obama and Speaker Boehner to negotiate around-the-clock just for the chill in the air.
John Boehner halted debt and budget talks with President Obama Monday and decided to work with Senate Democrats. He said under the Constitution, Congress writes the laws and the president decides what he wants to sign. Ever since the Tea Party gave everyone on Capitol Hill a copy of the U.S. Constitution we don't have to call tech support in India to fix every problem.
President Obama complained about John Boehner's negotiation tactics Saturday. He said he'd been left at the altar twice and that Boehner was refusing to answer his phone calls. He had said his position of gay marriage was evolving but we didn't think this is what he meant.
President Obama made history Friday by signing an order ending the ban on gays serving openly in the United States military in both combat and support units. Everyone supports the idea. We're in three wars in the Middle East and if we don't do this we'll have to have a draft.
The Nixon Library released Oval Office tapes Friday showing Nixon was obsessed with his enemies even before Watergate. His language is anti-Semitic, sexist and profane and he frequently says the N-word. There's an obelisk in Detroit saluting Richard Nixon as the Father of Rap Music.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton