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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 22, 2011 / 20 Tamuz, 5771

Appreciating the one you love

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | After my mother died, my father said that every man should have a swift kick in the pants for not appreciating all the things a woman does for him.

A friend who was too young when she lost her husband several years ago recently wondered why more husbands and wives aren't demonstrative with one another. "Why don't I see husbands putting their arms around their wives? Why aren't you holding hands?" she asked. "Why aren't you cherishing one another?"

Why don't we?

No relationship can stay in the honeymoon phase forever and every relationship has natural ebbs and flows. Yet it has been ages since I put a note in the husband's pocket. And it's been some time since I left for a trip and found he had slipped a new journal and some chocolate in my suitcase.

Recently, I read an author who said we should be so enthralled with loving our spouse that we have little time to ask, "Am I being loved? Am I getting what I need?" It resonated at first and then it sounded a little hokey. I wondered if her spouse ever jarred her awake at night snoring because he sounded like a sheet of paper stuck in a window fan?

Our ability to cherish one another gets sandwiched between the demands of daily life - work, kids, household chores, bills to pay, calls to make, e-mails to answer, errands to run. A general state of busyness compresses communication to telegraphic code.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Mexican?"

"Sure."

The husband recently brought home an armload of goods from an estate sale. You should know that we already have more treasures than we need. His haul included seven poker dog prints, a photograph of the elm tree under which our state constitution was signed and a very old, large, musty-smelling black and white print with curled edges and a water stain that he thought I might like to hang in the dining room. Seriously?

It was a line drawing of two Victorian ladies reading a letter and having tea at a small table. It was worn and drab.

And then I remembered my friend who had chastised marrieds-at-large for not caring for one another. So I paused and said, "Help me understand why you thought this belonged in the dining room."

"You like tea," he said, "and you often have friends over for tea and you like to entertain. The ladies look like they are enjoying themselves. It reminded me of you and I thought you would like it."

From a different perspective and at a slower pace, maybe it did possess a certain charm.

I said thank you, which is what I should have said at the very first.

Military couples, separated by a deployment, often start their phone calls by saying, "I love you." They say it up front because they never know when the call might be cut off. Maybe the rest of us could take a cue and move the kindness to the front as well.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2009, Lori Borgman

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