Jewish World Review July 22, 2010 / 11 Menachem-Av, 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Osama bin Laden's nieces and nephews asked for asylum in America Tuesday. Iran placed them under house arrest five years ago and now they're begging Americans to help. For goodness sake, every family has a crazy uncle no one likes to talk about.
President Obama welcomed Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron to the White House Tuesday. The leaders like each other personally. President Obama spent all day addressing the prime minister as David and three times Joe Biden called him Elizabeth.
David Cameron and Barack Obama both stated they opposed Scotland's decision to release the Lockerbie bomber on humanitarian grounds last year. Doctors said the terrorist had a month to live. That's when they thought the Israelis had a bead on him.
President Obama hosted a star-studded tribute to Broadway musical shows at the White House which will air on PBS. They had to have it at the White House. Guys who want to be the next Lincoln only want to go to the theater when they've been drinking.
The U.S. Navy tested the new Laser Weapons System and shot down four drone airplanes off California's coast Tuesday. You can't win. The next day there were six thousand angry environmentalists out in the ocean cleaning the aircraft parts off of the ducks.
The USS George Washington sailed into South Korean waters on Monday in advance of a visit by Hillary Clinton. We're trying to force North Korea to cooperate. This will be the first time in history that the aircraft carrier gets to play the good cop.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton