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Jewish World Review
July 14, 2010 / 3 Menachem-Av, 5770
You're a Liberal/Progressive if You Believe…
I'm sure a column similar to this one has been done before, but since liberals/progressives insist on telling ordinary Americans what we ostensibly believe in as in most of us are racist, stupid, xenophobic, jingoistic dim-bulbs I thought I'd return the favor. In no particular order, a laundry list of cherished, liberal nostrums. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you're a liberal if you believe:
"legal" and "illegal" alien are interchangeable terms. You also think the federal government should be siding with illegal aliens against the people of Arizona because those people have no business protecting their lives and property, even though the federal government refuses to do it. For you, any attempt to restrict illegal immigration is inherently racist.
that any law with which you disagree should be ignored or overturned by an activist judiciary. It doesn't matter if these laws are passed by state legislatures or voter referendums or enforced by a particular court ruling that goes against your worldview, as in a recent ruling preventing the Obama administration from enforcing a deep-water drilling moratorium. If you don't like a law, you don't have to obey it period.
having an armed criminal population and a disarmed public makes that public safer. This is a natural outflow from your assumptions that: most Americans are far too stupid to handle guns properly; firearms per se are to be feared; criminals are actually victims because the "root causes" that shaped their lives as opposed to rotten choices made them criminals; that a certain percentage of Americans should "put up" with being mugged or murdered to satisfy your anti-gun, or "gun free zone" sensibilities; that the Second Amendment's "right to bear arms shall not be infringed" is open to "interpretation," or should be allowed to be effectively neutered by local government officials.
increased government spending is the path to prosperity. It doesn't matter how many times this Keynesian economic model has failed or how many times its exact opposite tax cuts and lower spending has succeeded. It doesn't matter that $865 billion of "stimulus" hasn't stimulated anything other than government payrolls and political cronies, or that the path we're on is completely unsustainable. That the exact same policy of "doubling-down" on massive amounts of debt would be considered insane were it undertaken by any business or individual is completely irrelevant.
a public school student who comes to the conclusion that 2+2=5 should get partial credit for putting the numbers in the right order or proper usage of the "plus" and "equal" signs. Such thinking is a natural extension of the idea that: 1. self-esteem absent anything resembling genuine achievement is the ultimate measurement of a child's "success" or 2. a "passing grade" should be low enough to allow the education establishment to claim they're doing a "better" job of educating American kids than they were before. You also believe that every problem created by public school unions and their political lackeys can be solved with more money.
a fetus and a human being are two completely different things, and that anyone old enough to get pregnant is old enough to have an abortion without any parental involvement whatsoever. You also have no problem with millions of innocents being "terminated" even as you hold candle-light vigils for death-row inmates and convicted cop-killers.
telling our enemies when we'll be withdrawing our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan is "sound" military strategy; giving mass murdering, non-uniformed, international terrorists Constitutional protections and civilian trials is a good thing; the mainstream media publishing top-secret information in the middle of a war isn't irresponsible; the United States is as much to blame for international terror as the terrorists themselves; that the formerly "good war" in Afghanistan is now as bad as the "bad war" in Iraq, which was fought strictly for oil; and that Iran should be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons because "fair is fair."
a health care bill which completely ignores billions of savings that would have been produced by tort reform, collects ten years of funding for six years of spending, separates billion of dollars in physician payments into another bill, and insures an additional thirty-two million people Americans and illegals alike is really "revenue neutral."
the Bush administration "dropped the ball" with respect to Hurricane Katrina, but the Obama administration was on the BP oil spill "from day one." It was "all Bush's fault" that then-Governor of Louisiana Katherine Blanco rejected his offer to put troops in New Orleans two days before the hurricane arrived, and that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin told people to evacuate to an ill-equipped Superdome while hundreds of buses that could have transported residents out of the city sat idle. On the other hand, it's all BP's fault that the Obama administration has turned the Gulf clean-up into a bureaucratic nightmare of studies, red tape and the refusal of help from foreign sources for months.
America's "addiction to oil" has nothing to do with technological reality, and that we can snap our fingers and a "green energy" future will magically appear. A nice corollary is the idea "electric cars" are a panacea. Sounds really swell until one remembers that 50% of our electricity is coal-generated. Wind and solar? The wind doesn't always blow and the sun doesn't always shine meaning an "old-fashioned" back-up grid is a necessity.
mortgages should be made available to people who can't afford them and that the same "affirmative action mentality" which has led led to job quotas, and double standards in college admissions, passing grades on fireman and police tests, and non-bid government contracts for minority owned business should extend to owning a home. You think contaminating the entire economy with bad home loans is a small price to pay for "social justice,"which is why Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are still doing business and still losing billions of taxpayer dollars.
the mainstream media is completely unbiased except for Fox News. Fox is singled out because they dare to question the radical agenda of the Obama administration and our Democratically-controlled Congress, or because they broadcast news stories that other organizations consider "unimportant" like the video of the New Black Panthers intimidating voters in Philadelphia in 2008. Now that the Justice Dept. has inexplicably dropped the case against the Panthers, you don't consider it necessary to "inflame" Americans by letting them see exactly what happened with their own eyes or making their own judgments without having them "explained" by a media "expert."
common sense and common decency are no match for an Ivy League education. Anyone who hasn't attended the "right schools" is a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal "clinging" to guns and religion, a racist "tea-bagger," or complete idiot incapable of taking care of himself. It is one of the primary reasons you despise a solid citizen like Sarah Palin and revere an empty suit like Barack Obama. It is also why you consider it perfectly acceptable to put a completely inexperienced, intellectually vapid, radical like Elena Kagan on the Supreme Court.
Americans are inherently stupid. While this is similar to the preceding idea, it needs to be mentioned separately for one important reason: it is your fundamental rationale for the exponential expansion of government. You are completely comfortable with government ordering Americans to live a particular lifestyle you consider healthy and/or enlightened. Anyone who disagrees with any component of your worldview is to be pitied for their "lack of insight," or held in contempt for their "obvious" intellectual shortcomings.
anything which casts America in a positive light is automatically circumspect. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, you believe all societies and cultures are "equally viable," and anything which even hints at American exceptionalism, or patriotism including the singing of the National Anthem in public schools is to be condemned as "imperialistic jingoism."
competition is repugnant. Everyone is entitled to a trophy, honors classes in schools should be less "restrictive" and keeping score in sporting contests is too injurious to a child's self-esteem. Free enterprise is "unfair" because it rewards people for their ambition, risk-taking and hard work all of which must be "mitigated" by government to ensure the "equality of outcome," because "equality of opportunity" produces winners and losers a "division" which must be avoided at all costs
right and wrong are "relative," all morality is "individual," and government is a viable substitute for personal responsibility. " Do as I say, not as I do "is a perfectly acceptable method of dealing with people who can't understand that those with "superior wisdom" are entitled to certain privileges unavailable to the riff raff known as ordinary Americans.
This is, of course a partial list. I encourage my readers to add to it. Not merely for the fun of it, but because the last thing liberals want Americans to know is what they really stand for. It is also worth remembering that a lot of liberals are dissatisfied with the Obama administration because it's not radical enough.
Let the games begin.
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06/30/10: Calling YOUR Bluff, Mr. President
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04/08/10: (Tea) Party On
04/05/10: The Triumph of Mediocrity
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03/29/10: The Innate Immorality of Liberalism
03/24/10: The Art of War
03/22/10: I Want My Country Back
03/18/10: A Perpetual Process
03/17/10: American Exhibitionists
03/15/10: A Light Bulb Moment of Clarity
03/10/10: Little Things Mean A Lot
02/03/10: Budgetary Fork in the Road
02/01/10: Liberal Economic Illiteracy
01/27/10: Roe-ing and Wade-ing Back to Reason
01/25/10: Arrogance When Up, Denial When Down
01/20/10: Connecting the Educational Dots
01/19/10: The Next Tea Party?
01/15/10: The Myth That Keeps on Giving
01/13/10: Airport Security Begins Away From the Airport
01/11/10: Secrets and Lies
01/08/10: Embracing Bigotry or Rejecting Bullying?
01/06/10: Hanging by an Ideological Thread
01/04/10: Our Wonderama Bureaucracy
12/30/09: A Day Off
12/28/09: Dangerous Myths
12/25/09: I, Me, Mine
12/23/09: A Very Harry Christmas
12/21/09: My Opinon
12/18/09: The Party of Repeal
12/15/09: Privileged Exemption
11/30/09: Settled Science and Unsettled Children
11/30/09: American Sharia Law
11/23/09:The Trial (Travesty) of the Century
11/04/09: American Vampires and Their Political Enablers
11/01/09: Opting Out of Insanity?
10/28/09: Cell Phones Cause Brain Cancer. Brain Required
10/26/09: Communism: Nazism With Better PR
10/21/09: Just Asking
10/16/09: Cost Projections vs. Actual Costs, or Hope and Change vs. Reality
10/14/09: News you can use …
10/07/09: Incremental Insidiousness
10/05/09: MIA: Common Sense and Common Decency
09/30/09: Iran: Bad Options and Unpreparedness
09/21/09: Crying Racism: the Last Refuge of Scoundrels
09/11/09: 9/11 Cannot Be Sanitized
09/08/09: Truthers and Consequences
09/01/09: A Paper Trail Challenge for the Mainstream Media
08/31/09: Drowning in Amorality
08/26/09: The Republican Recovery Program
© 2010, Arnold Ahlert
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Frank J. Gaffney
Victor Davis Hanson
A. Barton Hinkle
Judge A. Napolitano
Debra J. Saunders
J. D. Crowe
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