In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 9, 2009 / 17 Tamuz 5769

Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The following is a verbatim transcript of yesterday's visit to a coffee shop with my friend, Etta:

Me: "I'll have a small strawberry smoothie, please."

Etta: "Me, too. That sounds really good."

Barista: "Certainly. Do you have a rewards gold key card membership number?

Me: "No, I don't have one of those cards."

Barista: "You could save 5 percent if you had a rewards gold key card membership. Would you like to complete a membership application today to receive one? The annual fee is only $20."

Etta: "So if we spent $20 now, we'd save, let's see, about 37 cents, right?"

Barista: "That's right!"

Etta and me: "Pass."

The barista seemed disappointed but began to work on our smoothies. Finally she returned, rang them up and then, to our horror, set them just out of our reach.

"Good news!" she said.

"You've been approved to receive a free trial of "Entertainment Weekly," "Time" or "Better Homes & Gardens." Just fill this out (shoves form at us) and your subscription will be on its way to your mailbox!"

Me: "No thanks. Can I get my smoothie? I want to drink it while it's cold and, right now, it's starting to sweat more than Speidi during an Al Roker interrogation."

Barista: "Certainly. But first, would you like to apply for our frequent smoothie card? If you drink just 25 smoothies, you get one smoothie free. Oh! And here's a scratch-off card just for coming in. You can win anywhere from 5 cents to $500 just by scratching off the little berry symbols. Go ahead and see how much you've won!"

We scratch, although we don't really want to, and discover that we have won a "Sorry! Try Again!" which makes the barista frown.

Me: "I don't want to be rude, but, really, can we just get our drinks and go sit down? We don't have gold memberships, we don't want to buy magazines and now I have scratch-off crud under my fingernails."

Barista: "You bet. That'll be $7.45. May I have your telephone number starting with area code first?"

I swear I am NOT making this up.

"No!" we said, again in unison.

"Oh," the barista said, smiling broadly. "I get it. You should know that we don't sell your personal information to anyone if that's what you're worried about. We just want to send you free coupons for special offers in the mail. And if you share your email address with us, too, you will automatically be entered in our jackpot sweepstakes drawing!"

"OK," I said. "You win. My email address is givememyflippingsmoothiebeforeistrangleyou.com."

She looked hurt but finally released the hostage smoothies. "Here's your receipt with our Web address on the bottom. Just take a brief online survey and you can get a dollar off your next visit!"

Next visit? Not berry likely.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.

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