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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 15, 2009 / 23 Tamuz 5769

Ch-ch-ch-changes

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I know that Oprah and some of her pretend-doctors like Dr. Suzanne Somers love to lecture about the yummy life-affirming coolness that is menopause but I'd like to respectfully disagree. OK, what I'd really like to do is bash their skulls like ripe melons when they talk like that but that just sounds, somehow, a tad harsh.

O, now famously going through "the change" her own self, likes to talk about the wisdom of menopause (say what?) with usual-suspect pals — Oz and heck, probably even Orman ("night sweats are no sweat, my little sweet patootie!"). Me? I'd rather spend my time fashioning crafts using Bernie Madoff's ear hair than hear how this is the most "passionate, creative and satisfying time of your life." I'm just saying.

I'm technically what they call peri-menopausal, which means that you only think about killing your husband three to four times a day. Kidding! I meant three to four times an hour. When you're flat-out menopausal, I'm told these dark thoughts disappear, leaving just a general "peevishness."

Oh, I WISH somebody would tell me that I was acting "peevish." Go ahead. Make my day.

While I'm delighted (OK, not really) that O is making the most of her insomnia, memory loss, night sweats, fatigue and memory loss (ha!) by enlisting the experts' help, most of us don't have famous menopause guru Dr. Christiane Northrup as a BFF so we must settle for our friends. Who, if you must know, leave a lot to be desired lately.

The problem is that if you want to talk menopausal symptoms, your women-friends will just try to out-symptom you.

Me: "I feel like I'm going nuts. I have these little electric current hot flashes, feels like somebody's tazing me, about 12 times a day."

BFF: "Oh, yeah? At least that's better than forgetting everything. The other day, I left my kid at the dry cleaners and took my husband's shirts to see "Up."

Me: "CAN'T I JUST COMPLAIN ONE TIME WITHOUT YOU TRYING TO ONE-UP ME?"

BFF: "Shut up!"

Me: "YOU shut up! (Cue wild mood swing out of no bleepin' where). I'm sorry. You're the best friend I've ever had. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"

BFF: "OK, so that's not needy at all."

Gawd, I really hate her. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't … C2 Dr. Northrup and probably Dr. Somers like to yak about how menopause is a time when you're at the top of your game, professionally speaking. It's supposed to be the most productive and resourceful time of your working life.

G-d, I hate this job.

I mean, seriously, sitting around writing poo jokes all day for a bunch of unappreciative strangers? Oops. Did I just write that out loud?

I didn't mean it. Yes I did. No I didn't…

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.


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Fred Mertz for vice president
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Don't get all bento out of shape
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Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
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First-class corpse
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Phoning for dazzlers
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Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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