Jewish World Review July 15, 2009 / 23 Tamuz 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama was photographed admiring the rear end of a beautiful teenage girl in Italy at the Group of Eight summit. There's a simple explanation. Hillary Clinton didn't go on the trip but Bill Clinton's still acting as an unofficial adviser.
The Running of the Bulls was held in Spain Sunday and ten people were trampled fleeing wild bulls down the street. It's senseless and bloody and you can't take your eyes off it. Every nation has its version of Supreme Court confirmation hearings.
David Letterman welcomes Paul McCartney to the Late Show tonight where he will plug his summer tour. Hopefully they'll enjoy some laughs. Dave's last joke about Sarah Palin's daughter died so badly that Al Sharpton showed up to lead the memorial.
Jaguar introduced its new XJ sedan made out of recycled aluminum. It's sure to be a favorite in Hollywood. You can drive a hundred miles an hour then tell the cop that the smell of alcohol is coming from the recycled beer cans in the door panel.
Michael Jackson's father Joe tells ABC Thursday how he raised the Jackson Five in Indiana. He admits whipping his sons during rehearsals when they missed a step. Money was tight and the family couldn't afford both a choreographer and an overseer.
LaToya Jackson charged Tuesday that her brother Michael was murdered. He could afford all the drugs he wanted without worrying about the costs or consequences. It's just more evidence that national health care will kill more people than it saves.
President Obama chose Alabama doctor Regina Benjamin to be the next U.S. Surgeon General. It's getting complicated. She will answer to the drug czar, who answers to the health czar, who answers to the immortality czar, who answers to the Romanoffs.
The Treasury Department announced Monday that the U.S. budget deficit has topped one trillion dollars for the first time in history. It's uncharted territory. We are so deep in the hole that it's starting to look like a secret plan to invade China
President Obama told reporters Monday that Congress won't stop him from passing health care reform this summer. You've seen this move on the Discovery Channel. What he is doing to Congress is known in the Animal Kingdom as marking your territory.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton