
 |
|
February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
|
| |
Jewish World Review
You Choose
By
Rabbi Binyomin Ginsberg
It's increasingly more common for parents to become so concerned about the rights of children that they allow their sons and daughters to be harmed
Advice from a seasoned educator and avowed traditionalist
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
After touring the school, the prospective parents expressed how
enthusiastic they were with what they observed. What I was
sure was to be followed by a request for an application turned out to
be something that took me by surprise.
"We will now go home and discuss the choices and options with our son and we will get back to you."
What astonished me was the fact that the child was entering
kindergarten. Yes! Parents were having a 5-year-old make such a
monumental decision!
This attitude is representative of an aspect of today's society that
believes it is healthy and important for children to make their own
choices. These parents are so concerned about the rights of children
that they allow their children to possibly be harmed in the process.
Little do they realize the dangers ahead!
I also believe that it is healthy for children to make choices. However,
I differ with the types of choices that children should be allowed
and be asked to make. This article will address several guidelines we
can follow of what kinds of choices our children are to make and how
to set the stage for our children to make good choices.
Enabling our child to make the correct choices is quite a challenge.
Parents must know when to make the decision for the child and when
to allow a child to make his own decision and then live with the
consequences of a possible poor choice. There is a distant difference
between a parent who allows the child to make too many choices and
a parent who doesn't allow the child to make any choices at all.
One of the most important tools parents should give their child is
the skill of how to make good decisions. That can only be learned with
practice. However, we must present children with appropriate choices
with which to practice. While learning, mistakes will be made. The
child will look to the parent for reassurance that his choice is good.
Give the child choices that won't have a dramatic negative result if a
wrong choice is made.
The child who comes to the parent to make ALL of the decisions
lacks self-confidence. That is a signal to parents to allow or even
require the child to experiment with choices. Parents must realize that
not allowing the child to make ANY choices is detrimental. A controlling
parent is laying the groundwork for increasing the chances of
raising a rebellious child.
Everyone, even babies, want some control in their lives. An infant
knows the effects of a smile or friendly gesture to an adult. That infant
also knows that crying can bring certain results. The child cries and
the parent draws near with a different object in each hand. Without
saying anything, the parent can ask the child which object he wants.
The child can make a choice without any verbal communication by
pointing to or taking hold of the desired item.
In deciding whether or not to allow your child to make a choice,
focus on the goal. If the goal is a parent spending time with a child,
provide the child with a choice of either dad reading a story to you or
playing Legos with you. These are both acceptable and support
the goal of spending time together.
When providing a child with an opportunity to make choices, it is
critical that the child be provided with adequate information to make
that choice. While it is healthy to allow some choices to be made by
the child, too much choosing and in the wrong areas can be disadvantageous. It may cause confusion and the child may lose confidence
in his ability to make choices. For example, giving a child the choice
to do homework or play a game is setting the child up for failure. The
child is not equipped to deal with the temptation. Helping the child
develop a list of pros and cons for choices helps the child make good
decisions.
Before giving our children the opportunity for making choices, it is
advisable to show how we, as adults, make choices. Discussing several
appropriate choices you have been faced with and explaining the process
by which you arrived at a decision, is a marvelous tool.
In introducing children to making choices, it is best to limit the
number of options from which to choose. For example, if you would
like to give your child a choice as to what clothes to wear, it is best to
just give the child two or three options. Opening the closet and offering
the child to choose from the entire display can be too overwhelming.
As much as our present-day culture indicates that children wish to
make choices, I found strong evidence to the contrary in my school.
As I researched this issue, I offered children a chance to make some
choices. The overwhelming majority of the children put the choice
back in my court. Children look to adults for guidance. Limiting the
number of choices and offering quality options help the child be successful
in the decision-making process.
While the parents should make most important choices, involving
the child with the decision-making process in some manner is vital
for the successful acceptance of the choice made by the parents.
On many occasions I have been asked for specific guidelines on
what choices children of certain ages should be able encouraged
allowed to make.
In making sure that we raise each child according to his needs
it is really impossible to set all the guidelines. While in most situations,
a child of high-school age should have input as to which high
school to attend, there are exceptions. Determining which choices
children should make really requires us to first know the child and
the strengths and weaknesses of the child.
An important skill that we must teach our children is how to deal with the outcome of a poor choice. If there are negative consequences,
it is usually best to allow the child to suffer the consequence and the
parent should not cover up or handle the consequence. Making wrong
choices and learning from them is a critical step in the process of
maturing.
Although parents may say and believe that they are allowing
their child free choice, they may often (sometimes inadvertently) send
the child subtle signals via body language, word choice, and facial
expressions that influence the child's decision. Children are very sensitive
to the non-verbal messages they receive and a child may submerge
his true wishes in order to please his parents. Parents must be
careful to avoid such manipulative behavior, since it may negatively
impact the emotional growth of the child. At times, children become
so dependent on the approval of their parents that later in life they are
unable to make important decisions independently.
In summary, there is no clear and definitive guideline that tells
us which choices to allow children to make and when to allow them
choices. It is ultimately the parents' call to determine which decisions
the child should be allowed to make. As in all parenting issues, praying
to the Almighty for the right His assistance is effective.
| GAINED FROM THIS ESSAY? YOU CAN BUY THE BOOK |
| Click HERE to purchase it at a discount. (Sales help fund JWR.). |
|
Interested in a private Judaic studies instructor for free? Let us know by clicking here.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes inspirational material. Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
We want your comments! Please let us know what you think by clicking here.
if (strpos(, "printer_friendly") === 0)
{}
else {
=<<
© 2009, "Used by permission. Artscroll Mesorah Publications".
|