Jewish World Review July 31, 2008 / 28 Tamuz 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Oliver Stone completed the trailer for his President Bush movie Tuesday. It depicts him drinking and singing and dancing on top of a bar. Oliver Stone knows a movie about Iraq won't sell any tickets so he's trying to convince the public it's a musical.
Mississippi was ranked the most obese state Tuesday, the same day Playboy named Ole Miss the second-best party school. Not one law is broken the entire time. The War on Drugs is now the leading cause of diabetes, sleep apnea and cirrhosis of the liver.
The Democratic Party agreed to serve fried food, barbecue burgers and candy at the convention instead of organic produce. Wise decision. You want Barack Obama's acceptance speech interrupted by applause, not by seventy thousand salmonella attacks.
Barack Obama saw an orthopedic doctor in Chicago on Sunday for a sore hip. The city has the most experienced orthopedic doctors in the world. Chicago's had so many leg breakers, the city's nickname was the City with Big Shoulders, Resting on Crutches.
Barack Obama's stolen prayer note was retrieved and placed back in Jerusalem's Western Wall Tuesday. Those rolled-up prayers are supposed to be just between you and G-d. This is why by the eighth year of any presidency there is nothing in writing.
NBA referee Tim Donaghy was sentenced to prison Tuesday for fixing the scores of pro basketball games with his calls on the court. The house made a killing. Tim Donaghy got fifteen months in prison, and the line for overs and unders was five years.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton