Jewish World Review July 23, 2008 / 20 Tamuz 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Dark Knight starring the late Heath Ledger as the Joker had the biggest opening weekend in movie history Sunday. Now all the studios are looking for projects for Heath Ledger. Universal is trying to find out if it still has the rights to The Mummy.
The Dayton Air Show in Ohio was interrupted Sunday when a diverted Northwest Airlines jet was forced to make an emergency landing on the audience-lined runway. The plane made an uneventful landing. The audience demanded their money back.
Saturday Night Live producers announced Monday the show will start four weeks early this fall to lampoon the presidential race. They will only do Obama jokes in the first thirty minutes of the show. After midnight it's technically the Lord's Day.
Barack Obama's campaign refused Monday to let a New Yorker reporter board its media plane. They're mad over the cover cartoon depicting Barack as a Muslim and Michelle as a terrorist. Nobody likes to be drawn ten pounds heavier than they really are.
Barack Obama visited three Arab countries in the Middle East last weekend. It's a different world. Two-thirds of Egyptian men polled Friday admitted they sexually harass women at work, which tells you that two-thirds of Egypt is under construction.
New York subways will be saturated with an ad campaign promoting Islam in September, which critics say is a Trojan Horse for recruiting terrorists. There's nothing to worry about. What's the likelihood of knocking down a skyscraper with a hijacked subway train?
Whoopi Goldberg insisted on her right to say the N-word Friday. It's a Southern thing. Blacks say the N-word, but not around white people, rednecks say the N-word in jokes, but not around black people, and Anglo-Normans say the N-word, but only at white guys who can't drive, stoplights that turn red, and golf balls that go out of bounds.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton