Jewish World Review July 24, 2007 / 9 Menachem-Av, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
David Beckham was a giant hit in his debut for the Los Angeles Galaxy Saturday in Carson. The celebrity-studded crowd went bananas for him. No one knows how big a star he's going to be in the United States, it all depends on how he treats his dog.
Senator Robert Byrd denounced dogfighting in a thunderous speech that rattled the rafters of the Senate last week. He's getting way up there in years. When Robert Byrd first visited the Dinosaur National Monument in Utah as a teenager, it was a zoo.
NBA referee Tim Donaghy was reportedly ready Sunday to admit fixing basketball games. He's a gambling junkie. Friends used to tell Tim Donaghy to use his head when he bets, but he looked really stupid pushing chips across the table with his nose.
Hillary Clinton was in Miami Sunday to speak to the conference of the National Council of La Raza. During her speech, Hillary highlighted her close personal and professional relationships with prominent Hispanic leaders. She even married Don Juan.
Sports Illustrated reports Condoleezza Rice has taken up golf and she now plays all the time at Congressional Country Club. Slow play is a problem. Even after her ball has stopped moving she insists on allowing more time for it go into the hole.
The Economist survey said Norway is the most peaceful nation on earth, with the U.S. number ninety-six. It's all intertwined. The reason the U.S. is so warlike and Norway is so tranquil is that a thousand years ago all their Vikings moved to England.
NASA says it's worried that two Mars Rovers could be knocked out of commission by severe Martian dust storms. Scientists say they never saw dust storms like this on the Red Planet. It just proves that even solar-powered cars can't save your climate.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton